Can't seem to get it together
A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 29. Mar 2008 01:29 PM
I'm sorry everyone, I can't seem to get my head together since coming out of hospital, everything seems bigger and harder than before. I thought surrendering to my Psych and letting him put me in hospital would be a good thing for me and get me back on track, but it seems i was very wrong.
I just want to be in bed all day and not talk to anyone, and the only good thing about that as far as my doc is concerned is if i am in bed, i am safe (at lease from any outside dangers anyway).
He wants to put me on more medication, which i don't think is necessary, so we agree to disagree on this one. He said if he has to he will put me in hospital again for longer and detain me if he feels i am a danger to myself. I can get out of that anyway, have before so he doesn't have the control over me that he thinks he has. He is trying to get to me, and he won't, he says he is trying to help, but it doesn't. I don't think i will go to see him anymore.
Talking to you beautiful people on chat has been good for me at times, but it is such a burden for people to hear other people's problems day in day out. I know you say it isn't, but i can't burden anyone so i can't talk about my issues in the chat room. I know there are a few of you who feel the same, so you will know what i am talking about.
In hindsight, maybe more medication would be good, lots more which would fix everyone's problems. I would just have to make sure it is done right this time.
Again, i'm sorry people, i am really struggling at the moment and can't see an easy way out of this mess.
Take care all.
Luv Nouse