Almost there
A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 16. Mar 2008 10:30 PM
I have almost made it through a few days that i thought i had no hope of seeing the other side of.
I have spent a lot of it in bed mind you, not able to gather enough strength to do anything but if it gets me through, i suppose it doesn't matter. (In the long run it is better than driving my car off a cliff, i suppose)
It has given me a lot of time to have crap going round and round in my head which isn't a good thing for me, but i have slept a bit as well. I feel so exhausted and don't know why, maybe it is everything that has happened in the past few months building up and attacking me.
I still have to get myself to my psych appointment tomorrow which will be hard, but i don't think i have much choice at the moment, i can't go on like this much longer.
I still haven't been able to talk to hubby about how bad i am feeling and i understand that i have to do so, but i am so ashamed that i have let myself go downhill again and although i know he loves me, sometimes it is not enough and he has put up with so much with my illness and i wonder how much more he can take before he runs.
I suppose i will find out fairly soon if things don't improve.
Take care all
Luv Nouse