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Why is this so hard

A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 9. Mar 2008 10:50 PM

I originally came on depnet after finding a card in my Psychiatrists office, but i think he would be devastated to hear what goes on in a chat room like this. I won't tell him of course as i believe everything that gets said on depnet should be kept confidential, but i wish a few more people would feel the same.
The lies and deception that go on from this chat room are very upsetting and some people are very judgmental without even hearing the facts or just hearing one side of the story and believing that is true.
I cant be angry at some people for that as they think they are doing the right thing and protecting someone they "care" about, but they need to be careful they are not getting led astray.

If only people would use the site as it was intended and not turn it into a dating site, it would or could be a very helpful place to visit, but this is what is happening and it is sad as so many people are getting hurt by comments from others for something that doesn't even involve them.

I feel very sad that i can't feel comfortable going on chat when some people are on there for fear of getting abused for something that they have only heard a one sided story on, but that is life i suppose, sad as it is.

There are some truly beautiful people on chat, who are there for themselves, but are still able to help others with their comforting thoughts and words, and i love talking to you, it makes my day when i am feeling down. I choose my time on chat now and am very careful when i log on as to who is there so to feel as comfortable as i need to feel, surely if i am feeling less stressed it makes for a better conversation with other people.

Sorry to offload this on to you everyone, but i know i am not the only one feeling like this and it is very distressing.

Luv Nouse

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Comments from the community:

Nouse

I got the depnet card also from my psychiatrist office and given the experiences I had on here when I joined, I spoke to him about how best to deal with it. It helps to talk about it if things are bad and you pick and choose you times when you go in. If it gets really bad report it to the moderators. The chat room is supposed to be a good time for all people and a way to share info on mental illness.

Nouse be strong and if people upset you, leave the chat room and if they are breaching the etiquette report them.

Go Nouse!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 9. Mar 2008 11:18 PM

Hi Nouse,
I know exactly how you feel. I too tried to help a depnet member who was upset, in turn got abused from another depnet member on depchat, who called me many abusive names that were hurtful. I also tried to help this person along with another depnet member on msn, after this person had us both worried about their emotional well being, actually we both stayed up well into the early hours of the morning to make sure this member was ok.
Now it seems it meant nothing to them. I even went as far as to ask this friend if they would like to meet me at Forster next Saturday for coffee, as my mums sister lives at Forster NSW. I would have taken both Tara and my mum with me, as I felt it was impropper to meet alone. Never mind, I did my best.
Hugs Pat xx

Written by Deleted_User, 10. Mar 2008 12:09 AM

Hey nouse,

This was a good site once and can be again if those wishing to cause trouble would only leave but it appears that these people need to stay in order to feel happier with themselves for upsetting others.

It also must be understood thou that people using this site may be a little un-stable and therefore may take things the wrong way as has happened in this case in particular.

People are also very sensitive at times and weiry of others so the offering to meet up with others of this site may offend some people, sure some of us may be lonely but is the offering of a get together even over something simple as a coffee really what others are looking for!

From experience, people on this site tend to believe the word of one without first cnofirming the story with the other person whom was involved or that the comment was made about so its best not to let this worry us and if it does, then ask both persons for their side of the story before jumping to conclusions and getting upset over something that turned out to be a lie.

I know of this current disagreement between two or three users of the chat site which has gone way to far for no reason and i also know that alot of the rumours or stories that have been going around are simply not true and therefore, the current dis-like between these depnet users is simply not justified.

Anyway, thats a matter for them to sort out but each person involved needs to keep calm and talk this thru with each other so as it does not upset each other even more and does not upset fellow users whom are innocent and may know nothing about this conflict.

I apolagize for my wrongs and will continue to do so if i make errors, i'm not perfect and dont claim to be but surely a simple misunderstanding can be rectified between friends.

At times even friends have disagreements and say things out of anger and frustration and whilst those things should not have been said, its usually later that the person whom said the nasty or wrong thing(s) regretts it but their attempt to reslolve the conflict with the other person(s) involved is pointless when they wont or dont want to listen to the persons apolagy.

Anyway, again, i apolagize for what i do wrong and sure i say some things i should'nt out of anger but again, i'm not perfect and neither is anyone else so maybe a chat between each other and an apolagy to each other is what is needed to re-spark the friendship.

We have enough probs in our life now without needing more so maybe you should also try to resolve the issue(s) that are upsetting you and causing dicomfort with another depnet user in private on the chat site if that is the only means available.

You are a great person nouse and a friendship is wonderful and should be cherised so lets all try hey, for our own sakes as well as others we should all get along and put the past behind us.

Take Care
mickm

Written by Deleted_User, 10. Mar 2008 03:08 PM

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