No use
A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 8. Feb 2008 02:41 PM
Hi all, this is my first diary entry and i am not sure it is what i should be doing. When i was in hospital the first time a friend gave me a diary to write in and it was great. Writing things down seemed to help in some ways.
I have had a pretty bad time lately, with a bad back that has kept me off work for 5 weeks. For someone who is always keeping busy to keep my mind from spinning,it is not doing me much good. I have a lot of time to let things go through my mind and it is not healthy. I saw my doctor yesterday, and he is good, but knows that the sooner I get back on my feet the better I will be. The constant chronic pain in my back is unbearable and i told my doctor i didn't want to be here anymore, it is too hard.
He keeps me talking through things, but i don't leave there feeling like it is going to get any easier. I am on so many pain killers, as well as all the usual stuff, but i am so sick of taking medication all the time. As if anti-depressants aren't enough!! Maybe I should just take a few more than i am supposed to and hopefully, that will work.