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a memory

A page in the diary "to give my feelings a voice"
Written by northrnbelle 6. Feb 2008 07:46 AM

i want to share this incident as an illustration of how such little, innocent things can trigger reminders of the past.

i was nine years old, and it was summer. i was just going across the street to play in the park, but at that time i liked to wear dresses, and i had been given a pretty, dark-blue dress and decided to wear it that day.

i came home to get a drink, and discovered that my stepfather was home. first, he asked me to lie down on the couch with him. before long he took me into the bedroom he and my mother shared. i won't go into details about what he did but i'm sure you can figure it out. after a time i said i thought i heard someone coming and he let me leave. he went back to the couch and i was sitting in a chair that was kind of around a corner into the next room. we had a boarder staying with us at the time and i thought maybe he had come home, so i starting trying to tap out SOS in morse code on the wall. i was so desperate for someone to help me, but nothing happened. my stepfather fell asleep and i went back outside. to this day, any time someone uses SOS in conversation, or if i see it on tv, or any other way i am immediately taken back to that day. as i type this i am shaking inside and my heart is racing. and then i get people trying to say that the past is the past. IT IS NEVER THE PAST WHEN IT HAS CHANGED WHO YOU ARE, AND STAYS WITH YOU LIKE THIS!!!

i think what i need most in my life now is someone who can help me feel safe

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Comments from the community:

that makes perfect sense. to be with someone that makes you feel safe. i guess it may let you heal.

i have troubles letting people get close enough. even if they are safe. cos i fear the hurt.

so i have a pet bird. she whistles to me and plays with my hair when i get home from work. it's not exactly a relationship but atleast it's some kind of affection.

keep the blogs going. especially if you meet someone & get a healthy relationship going. would love to know it's possible after being wounded so deeply. like me & you.

josh

Written by Cocksy_86, 6. Feb 2008 08:21 AM

NB

Thanks for being open and honest about what happened to you when you were 9. That was brave and you should be proud you got it out, even with you heart beating, and shaking.

I am proud of you.

Go NB!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. Feb 2008 01:17 PM

NB

I went back to your previous entry and read your comment to me - be honest. It is the best thing you can do in all aspects of your life. As I said, if I can get married there is hope for you and I spoke to a friend last night who has met his latest flame through the internet. I said to him as he is in a country town, you have to try all options and so do you in regards to meeting someone and being honest with people.

Go NB!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. Feb 2008 01:22 PM

No, you are right. The past is never just in the past, it shapes you for better or worse. Perhaps go to the site pointswithpurpose.com - in some tiny way it helped me heal a little bit. I can't imagine how horrible you must feel, nobody can, but I can tell you I understand completely where you are coming from about the tiniest little thing being a trigger to something so horrible. It won't ever be ok, but hopefully one day you will be able to leave the past behind you and move on with your life. This doesn't mean you have to forget, it means you are choosing to take your life back from your stepfather who stole it from you very cruelly.

Hugs

Written by babz, 6. Feb 2008 03:22 PM