About depression Help with depression Help for relatives Society DepNet Community My Depression

Read diary

apology for whinging

A page in the diary ""
Written by hellhole 8. May 2008 11:34 PM

thanks to the few who replied to my last msg. Im sorry if i came across as whinging about something i got myself into. As one of you said i knew the father wouldnt be involved as he walked out in the first few weeks but chose to continue with the pregnancy anyway so its my fault & should suck it up & it & get on with it or give my kids up if i cant. I know all this already. I already have plenty of self doubt on my ability to raise them alone. I hate myself. I have thought about if theyd be better off without me & if i should write myself out of their lives, although my thoughts leant toward something more permanent if u know what i mean.
My kids are important to me & i want the best for them always, id never do anything to harm them. I love them, even though one hasnt taken a breath yet. I wouldnt risk anything for them. All i wanted to do was create a loving happy family for them. Like i never got to have. But as usual i screwed everything up. Twice i tried to create this, twice i failed. Perhaps if i was a better person, better lover, better mother, not so nuts everything would of worked out. But bad things happen to bad people so i only have myself to blame & unfortunately my kids will probably suffer by association.

Im that stupid i actually thought we'd sort things out & be a family again. People kept telling me to wait till the baby arrives things will change when he holds his son for the first time he then wouldnt be able to walk away. But your right i was romancing with myself i guess & need to let it go.

my apologies to those who had to endure my pathetic notions. Its my problem not any of yours. My feelings arent important, my kids are i need to focus on them. Thankyou people for bringing all this to my attention. Once again i stuffed up. I didnt mean to be or sound like such a selfish mother. I wont bother you all with any of this again.

« Prev page | Next page »
 

Comments from the community:

Never apologise for saying how you are feeling...but Can you please reread what I wrote to you. Your interpretation of my words is really negative. Your fault/Suck it up and get on with it is not at all what I said to you.
All the best hellhole.

Written by maple, 9. May 2008 08:30 AM

Hellhole

Sweetie you have not stuffed it up... not all relationships work out... it takes two people to make a relationship work and you are only one part of that two... you tried to make it work... he didn't want to make it work... so do not take the blame... and I think I hope I did not say to you that you made a mess... you love your kids... you need to love yourself too... and if the other person doesn't want to make it work then you could be the best lover, the best cook, the best of everything and it wouldn't matter... it won't work ...

please be gentle on yourself... and love yourself and your babies...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 9. May 2008 11:29 AM

HH

We are all entitled to have a diary entry about how we are going.

You are included in this as a deppie. It is your decision to decide if you need to give these children up or not. You are the one in control of your children and how they develop/what they learn.

Given the dad has been with you at the doctors I think you should let him at the birth - he seems to have some interest in his son. Wait and see what happens at the birth - he may want to be involved with your son or he may not but give him a chance to say yes or no to this change for the both of you.

Go HH!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 9. May 2008 03:16 PM

I found this entry so sad, I wanted to comment.

"All i wanted to do was create a loving happy family for them. Like i never got to have."

If you never had it, you're on an uphill struggle to figure out how to give it to your children. You are amazing for that, and you can make it, but there will likely be times you do what you know, and it won't be what you expect of yourself. Don't give yourself a hard time, just accept where it comes from, learn and move on. Your kids are so lucky to have someone who cares enough to do this.

"bad things happen to bad people..."

Rubbish. Bad things happen. Period.

People make decisions, sometimes good ones, sometimes not so good ones. Sometimes we hope other people will support us, but we choose people that treat us in a way that we deep down are used to. The biggest thing you have recognised is that just because we want someone to change doesn't mean they will. Nor does being a 'better' anything have anything to do with their decisions. People do what they need to do, where they are at, and what they have the skills for.

We have everything we need to fulfil our own needs.

You can do this. One day at a time.

msm

Written by mrsmooch, 9. May 2008 06:26 PM