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more challenges soon to arrive

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Written by hellhole 8. May 2008 12:09 AM

Am about to give birth alone any day now & absolutely terrified. I already have a 3 yr old to take care of. They both have different dads, both are losers that arent interested in them. Sometimes i struggle to look after myself, let alone raising 2 boys by myself...

I dunno how i will be when his born, if il resent him for me losing the man i love, his father or see him in him evertime i look at him. Or if il cry if/when he comes to visit. I cant even decide whether to allow my ex to come to the delivery. His shown no interest except sitting next to me at the dr appts, barely saying a word then going seperate ways. Hasnt helped or supported me at all, nor bought a single thing for the baby. And for those who sont know baby stuff is espensive! I still had some things from my son but a lot i already gave away not expecting another child yet, particulary not expecting to have to deal with it all alone. Ive been off my meds for it will harm the baby & will need to stay off them as well longer if i want to breastfeed him for it will pass through me to him.
Stupid me actually still loves the father. I thought he was a decent nice guy & we were going to be a happy family. Turns out im a lousy judge of character. When it didnt work out that way at first i thought he was just scared of the change & we'd sort it out & get back together before the baby come. But im full term now & still nothing. He not only broke my heart but tore it right out & took my hope, faith & ability to love & trust another man.

I try to shut out the things in my head & focus on my kids but its not always easy. Its a little easeier during the day when theres so much to do, but its the nights after my sons gone to bed, the housework is done & its just you in a quiet empty house all alone with my thoughts, thats when everything kinda sinks...

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Comments from the community:

hello

This time in your life is a pivotal point ... the birth of a baby is a celebration and a loss ... not sure what i want to say to you but i think you have been coping better than you think... I know the nights are difficult... but soon you will have a child to keep you company...

You have coped with the breakdown of a relationship and the fact he will not support you...

your decisions from now on out will change your life... as you decide to take control of your life and that of your children you will grow into a wise woman who can manage all the good and bad things in life...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 8. May 2008 01:14 AM

My heart is breaking for you. You desreve a full house. If you want the Father there at the birth, then do that. But please don't romanticise. He is not going to be your partner. Sorry babe. Plus I am so angry at people doing the wrong thing I could start screaming but I would never stop screaming.
I am so heartbroken at your loneliness, it isn't right,
but this child you chose to have anyway knowing how it would be this way. So get on with it. There is no other choice..also babies are hard work sure but they are no burden..if you really cannot manage give the child to someone who can. Or else just do your best which I suspect is good enough.

Written by maple, 8. May 2008 01:33 AM

Hi HH
If you want to breastfeed you can still take medication. I did and there have been no after affects on my child. I breastfed for 13months, 6 months on Olanzipine and zoloft and after 6 months just on zoloft. Do what is best for you and if you know that you are getting depressed see a professional. You are the most important person to your children. Take care of yourself first then you can take care of yours. I wish you all the best for the birth of your second child. Kindest Regards Riles.

Written by riles, 8. May 2008 03:42 PM

HH

This entry has just made me numb. Let the dad be at the delivery and remember there is no romance between you both. He is just there for the birth/support you if you need it. It is good he has been going to your medical appointments with you - shows some interest in the baby.

Seek out the help you need or are eligible for with the birth of your son. Be strong and I hope your delivery goes alright and you and your two sons bond well and you all become a happy family.

Go HH!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 8. May 2008 10:04 PM