sick head, sick body & sick toddler
A page in the diary ""
Written by hellhole 2. Mar 2008 08:53 PM
Empty, thats the first word that comes to mind at the moment about me. Im sitting in my parents loungeroom on my laptop, trying to focus on what im doing but with so so many things going through my head. Im trying not to think about them too much or else il really be in a bad way. My son woke up sick this morning, with over 39 degree temperature most of the day. This morning he was like a doll lied on the lounge not moving or talking for hours, then slept, his now in the other loungeroom with his pop watching a movie & burning up.
im off my meds so they dont affect the baby. Using what little strength i have to get thru each day. They think its going to come early. The last week i been in hospital twice & doctors 3 times & had 2 blood tests. Ive been really sick & in a fair bit of pain that i shouldnt be in til the last couple of wks in pregnancy. Plus i had an allergic reaction to something causing swelling & a rash on my face & hands.
Ive got everything pretty much ready as far as babys needs, but am terrified. Going thru labour alone, bringing my baby home by myself to an empty house & then how im going to cope with a baby & a toddler alone.
Still havnt heard any interest from my babys dad. Except he come to one of the dr appts, but as soon as i looked at him i started to cry. Happens nearly every appt, so im going to tell him not to come next time. i need someone actually supportive not just pretend to be at doctors.
i just had to pin my toddler down to make him take his medicine, he spat most of it out & cried. I felt so mean but he needs it to get better. Its his birthday next saturday so i told people i was postponing his party for hel probably still be sick & so my newborn nephew doesnt catch anything. His turning 3 so isnt real aware of birthdays yet anyway. His dad hasnt even contacted me about it yet either shows how much he cares. He lives around the corner comes around just before his birthday & christmas, maybe once in between thats it.
well ive babbled enough so i better go now