poems, words from my twisted world
A page in the diary ""
Written by hellhole 5. Feb 2008 09:33 PM
Imaine a million knives stabbing u from every direction
a dam breaking in your heart
a lighted match thrown into your soul
the ground collapsing from underneath you
falling through a great big black hole
your life is a tunnel
leading from unbearable pain
right through to hell
no hope for a better change
darkness forever felt
your senses are numb
feel completely empty
things of interest & importance
canno longer be seen
no one to turn to
no one who cares
unable to reach out for help
afraid no one will be there
your future is grim
see no point in going on
death seems a brighter alternative
your own stong will not enough
to cope with all of lifes strains
unless yourve actually been there
you can never really understand
the torture of living with this illness
how hard it is just to get through the basics everyday
withdrawn into the total darkness
the familiarity
being the only slight relief
from the trap of never ending pain.
What point is there in tomorrow
when u can barely get through today
why continue to endure such pain
far beyond what words can say
surely theres a way out
suffering to some to an end
the heart that shattered to pieces
may finally be able to mend
give yourself a long rest
for the mind cant take anymore
set the punching bag down
declare peace from your personal war
hat happens next
nobody can truly say
it has to be better then this
can no longer live this way
some say its the easy way out
when doing nothing is easier still
pretending everything is alright
hiding behind the show by your strong will
i think ive run out of options
only one thing can be done
the deamons infesting in your mind
may have finally won.
What would you do if your world stops turning
if the light ceased to glimmer
the sparkle of hope blown away
how could you continue to fight through a losing battle
strips torn off of you
as simply as a newspaper
could you manage to pick them all up
glue each back together like new
could you manage to dig your way out of a dark, damp, endless tunnel all alone
find the end that seems beyond reach
if someone was to start stacking bricks on your head & shoulders eventually your going to fall down
collapse in a weaping heap like a baby
no strngth left to pull yourself back up
your own stuggles & stress pulling u back down each attempt
theres a difference between surviving & living
but what if the later is out o reach
for it is the living as you know it that is so hard
like a bomb exploding in every cell of your body
excruciating secretions from every pore
torture gone unseen
but unable for you to get past
if days were like nightmares
just imagine what the nights are like
no outsid distractions
trapped with your own screwed up mind
coping mechanisms all used up
how could you keep going
endure all that pain
surely theres a way out
surffering to finally come to a rest
maybe there will be an ounce of peace
that will come at the very end.
I wrote these a little while ago, very few people have ever read these but. Just my personal expression. What do u guys think? I decided to share here for i thought the judgement may be less here. This is my life. I can write better then i can talk sometimes.