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top of the hill & back down hard

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Written by hellhole 14. Jan 2008 09:01 PM

Today started off well but didnt last. I passed the test to get my full licence & off my ps. Then picked up my son from my mum & went home. My ex came around a bit later & i was excited to see him since the other day we had a long chat, some unexpected intimacy & thought we were doing great & were getting back together. I am still in love with him immensely & am carrying his child. I was so happy to think things might finally be getting back to where they should be. But today he broke my heart & rejected me again. It was as if the other day didnt even happen. He made it clear he still had feelings for me to, still loved me & missed me. Then today was like i was a stranger, would barely say a word to me, he mowed the lawn for me though. Came in for a minute & talked in riddles that i didnt understand then left leaving while the mother of his child so stressed & crying hysterically so much that i literally made myself sick & saying nothing more then a casual catcha later like i was someone he bumped into in the street.
My day continued like that. Thankfully my 2 yr old son was having a nap at the time so he didnt have to see mummy like that. Although he has many times before unfortunately as ive been struggling to cope for a long time, but sometimes he goes to nan & pops on the really bad days. Been trying to be strong for my kids, but theres not much strength left. Hope that things would get better & that the man i love would return was once again taken away. I dunno what to do now, i cant raise these kids by myself, i struggle with just me a lot. Ive never pined for anyone before, but have never loved anyone as much as i do him either. I want to hate him for walking out on us, but i dont, I love him as much as i ever did. Perhaps the best thing i can do is hold on somehow till my baby is born, then give both my kids to their deadbeat dads, let them have the responsibility of looking after them for once &then do myself in. My whole life has been one problem or heartache after another, i may only be 22 but ive been through more then most people would in ten lifetimes majority of it all bad & i cant take anymore. Every bit of me aches all the time. As soon as i think things might be improving they just get worse. I cant take much more. The pain is too great to bear anymore. Theres only one thing left i can do. Itl make a lot of people please im sure. All i do is cause problems for eveyone. Nobody can stand to be near me for very long, My family hates me but loves my son, i got no friends, no job, no money, nothing but a kid & another on the way, but they dont need a useless wreck for a mother so they might be better off without me.

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Comments from the community:

Please don't be so hard on yourself Kat, my sister went through hell, she has 3 kids to 3 complete assholes, well 2 now, one is gone. her first at 14 years old. She had no support from my family, no job, no money, and a drug habbit.

But she fought through it all by realising that her kids loved her regardless of what other people thought, and that she had to try her best for them.

A lot of the time things didn't work out, but she kept trying to be the best mum she could, and eventually things started to go right for her.

She forgot all her deadbeat boyfriends, decided she didn't need another one, and now has a job, has made friends with other single mums, and has 3 great little girls.

Just keep at it and try your best for your little guy, he might not be able to say it, but he'll really appreciate what his mum does for him.

You got your licence, congratulations, I failed mine miserably the first time...

Andrew

Written by andrewau, 14. Jan 2008 09:19 PM

Hellhole

Andrew is right. Don't be hard on yourself and try not to get your expectations too high in regards to your ex. If it is meant to be, things will work our for you both. I hope you can work it out for your sake and the kids sake but be strong if he rejects you even if there has been intimacy. He like you, is probably lonely and wants intimacy.

Hope this makes sense and isn't too harsh.

Go Hellhole!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 14. Jan 2008 10:08 PM

Please stay safe. I promise you, your kids won't be better off without you. They need you irrespective of what you might think or feel. You matter.

Love Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Wolveress, 15. Jan 2008 12:40 AM

Dear Hellhole
I am one of the moderators here.
You are clearly feeling very distressed and we acknowledge the urgency of this situation.
It is unclear from you post whether or not you are being treated for depression or are receiving counseling of any kind with respect to your problems.
Whilst I am sure that you will receive much support from your fellow DepNet users, I cannot emphasize enough that you have to also seek help from a doctor/psychologist/relationship counselor to help you cope.
If you are not getting any help at present, a good place to start would be your local GP. You will also find details of other support resources on this site.
Your wellbeing is of paramount importance not just because you are a mother. You are just as important as an individual as you are vitally important as a mother. No matter what you may think right now to your children you are irreplaceable.
Remember you do have a job - you are doing the hardest and most important job in the world.
Stay safe
Crystal

Written by Crystal, 15. Jan 2008 09:02 AM