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alive and not well

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Written by hellhole 8. Sep 2008 10:48 PM

In a lot of pain inside & out but im still here, im used to it. Not sure why or if i really want to but thats where it stands for now. Ive been tossing between 'my boys need me' and 'my boys will be better off without me' among many other things going through my head.

Thankyou to those who responded to me. I apologise for the burden. I shouldnt have said anything, my mother always says 'you need to keep my mouth shut, nobody wants to hear that crap, you'll end up locked up & lose your kids'. So thats what i do. im getting pretty good at putting on a show. i live with my folks & they havnt even noticed anything, they dont give a shit never have.

Sorry i wasted your time. Trust me people im not worth worrying about.

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Comments from the community:

Hellhole

you didn't waste my time... it is important you make good decisions... one decision you made was to 'put on a front' to ppl so no one knows what you are really feeling... you said your family does not see your pain... maybe you should decide to show them your pain and not hide it... they can't support you if they don't see the pain... keep challenging the thought about giving in... your boys think you are worth it... so there may be more ppl... seek them out...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 8. Sep 2008 11:35 PM

hellhole...........

Trust me you are worth worrying about and are no bother at all. Parents do have problems accepting things at times and are blind to a lot of things as well. They have trouble admitting things, but are capable of caring.
My kids have been my sole reason for going on at times when they were growing up, as the alternative to leaving them behind to who knows what , was really upsetting. Keep up the good work you are doing, and take care. A lot of us love you and are here for you.
Take care.
Love Lesley xxxxxxxxx

Written by lesleyk, 9. Sep 2008 08:53 AM

I was personally very upset when you wrote your last entry. I was sick worried. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone, but next time this happens, do let us know earlier that you are alive!

Remember your feelings are just feelings and they do not need to become actions.

And when you are not able to bring yourself to do anything, ITS OK.

Do what you can, and rest.

Take care

Love
WD

Written by WhiteDove, 9. Sep 2008 07:29 PM

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