Mood Swings.... yay!!! rollercoaster
A page in the diary "Meandering Thoughts"
Written by cateblack 16. Mar 2008 02:08 AM
Well the last day or so my mood has swung up again... it is slightly elevated... not too high... but makes me feel as if the past few weeks have not been real... I feel as if all the agitation and distress are my imagination... was it real?
At times like this... I think my mental illness is all my imagination... how real can it be when it disappears like this?
Has it disappeared? It will be back again I know this... but when and how severe and what form will it take?
What thoughts will filter through my brain? How will I know if they are my real thoughts or part of some delusion?
So while I am stable at the moment... I am not sure how long I will remain stable.
I have things in my life that will send me off again...
I feel paralysed emotionally... i can not find the motivation to manage these issues...
My mental health nurse said a person without depression will think "I will take a shower" and go and do it... but a person with depression will think "I will take a shower" but first I have to open my eyes, then i have to get out of bed then i have walk to the toilet then i have to flush then i have to go to the bathroom then i have get undressed then i have to turn the water on ... and so on...
she said a person with depression sees at least 20 steps to just taking a shower and each one too hard to do...
I understood that...
well enough
rgds
cate