The trust
A page in the diary "Meandering Thoughts"
Written by cateblack 28. Feb 2008 12:21 AM
Well i need to explain the trust... it is the Public Trustee of Qld ... the Adult Guardian appointed them as my financial managers ... I used to spend all my money and rarely paid my accounts... and was at risk of homelessness... they are generally good... i get worried about money all the time... and i am very capable of losing all my money and assets ... it is a voluntary appointment... my choice many years ago... to protect me from me...
I had a visit from the mental health nurse my psychiatrist referred me to... she is straight forward and said she is very familiar with working with people with borderline personality disorder... she gave me some information about brain scans that map that children exposed to trauma have their hippocampus affected which affects their emotional control... she said my weight was causing my depression I said my depression caused my weight... i am not in control... i go from one crisis to another... she said i am borderline what do i expect?... my judgement is reserved at this time... she gave me homework on values... I will do it on the weekend... i am not sure what my values are about some things... i now what i should think are my values but are they actually my values or what i think i should think... i told her about Cathy my rampant child inside... who is controlling my actions... she is the one driving me to move... she wants and it doesn't matter what I think or want... she gets her way and makes my life difficult...
She said she is going to talk to all my support networks because she said i will tell A what i think B said.. and tell B what C said is the way... etc etc... again borderline action... i am terrified of her... she sounds like she will not take crap from me... and i am worried ... she said the amount i go out and about ... i am really motivated... i told her i was driven to do what i do .. i have to do it... i force myself to go to work to do volunteer work to go to courses go to friends... she said see you have friends... but i go to them ... laurel comes sometimes Cat R and Cat J sometimes come too... she said I am lonely... and sometimes i am lonely ... in a room full of people i am lonely... sometimes i prefer my own company... and my cat... i miss my dog... and i miss my Mum... things are happening and i am not sure I have any control over it... somehow i have set something in motion and now I not sure I can cope with it...
enough
rgds
cate