titles are for tantalising
A page in the diary "Meandering Thoughts"
Written by cateblack 27. Sep 2008 12:55 AM
Well here it is and i am back in the world of the strangely sane... i had a brief stint in a world that had a slight twist to it... i can remember some of it and it seems quite rational and yet it seems quite twisted in a normal sort of way... i am presently bemused by it while at the same time i am concerned...
no one seemed to notice how i was acting out of character ... mental health nurse thought i was a little bit elevated... but not bad... psychiatrist thought i was fine but start taking my meds to humour him... my sister said she would talk to me again when i was on terra firma... friend thought i was a bit spacey... no one on depnet thought i was different... i know words can be deceptive... it is also the non verbal cues as well as the verbal cues that ppl use to measure
i do not think i was acting... or pretending... how i have been acting and talking was natural to me... yet i felt so different to how i normally feel... which is usually depressed ... i am still unsure now if how i am now is natural or how i was earlier today is natural... i have a headache... i can still remember thinking we should cull the human race... and somehow now i think that is wrong... but is it... i also think it is right... and wrong... i can not explain ... my head space seems skewed ... i am back on the meds... but they don't work that quick ... so what has changed...
well that is just my thoughts on this... not sure any of it is real... i do not trust what i think and feel to be the truth... all gone... so sad...
take care
rgds
cate