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A page in the diary "Meandering Thoughts"
Written by cateblack 31. Aug 2008 03:24 AM

Today ... maybe for a while now... I have been thinking about how do our families know about our online friends... there are ppl we never talk about in everyday conversation... there is no one our families can meet face to face and share in our lives... they often do not know I chat to jen or dee or MPhoebe or Midnight or tigerlayce... they do not know I share my inner thoughts and fears with these faceless ppl... I realised that they do not know about depnet... or my hotmail account... they do not know about my msn groups or my yahoo groups... all those ppl will never know I have died because my family do not know they exist...

I read an entry by NotHappy (Matt) and realised how grateful i was to receive notice of his death from his friend... I was able to feel a moment of loss because he wrote something lovely to me...

Surfer wrote he may not reach 75 and I thought I want to know what happens to Peter...

Just as I feel a little loss with Mrs Studying... I am hoping she is doing well... and that she got her trip to Tassie ... and that she and husband have made a decision about whether they will go to Tassie to live... a secret ambition of mine.. lol.. i love the cold... but i also love Qld in autumn winter and spring... hate summer... I hope she has had her meds sorted out.. anyway ...

and Maple ... reading her comments... there are so many ppl on depnet that i feel an affinity for ... i love Gyps comment... she has been a bit quiet on her boobie ... so I am assuming it is doing well... Babz has been so strong... i was wondering how she is doing with her 'scar' ... it was such a major issue... and whitedove... her caring for her father... and uni... in fact uni for so many ... so I want to know that everyone passes their studies ... did ppl get through school?

does this mean depnet is a soap opera in words... and I am addicted to the drama... no bold and the beautiful with young and restless ways...

I just want to know the endings...

i gave lifesucks a hard time tonight... i believe we need to challenge our beliefs... are they mine or my family's ... is it society who dictates how I am to feel or act?

well enough..

rgds
cate

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Comments from the community:

Hi cate

This is a lovely, and wise diary. Thank you so much for your comment on my last diary and the very good sense you wrote. I will take heed. My family read all my diaries and, when I have been in hospital my daughter has used "surfer" to let depnet know how I was going. I will ask her to tell depnet when I "drop off", and, my drs tell me, it will be earlier than 75. That's OK - I can live with that.

Peter

Written by surfer, 31. Aug 2008 04:57 AM

p.s. Your comment did not distress me in any way.
Peter

Written by surfer, 31. Aug 2008 05:00 AM

I don't think anyone would be worried about me....but i will come in and delete all my diaries and my username so that will be it then....easy fixed....just wipe me from the page.

No-one would even notice.

Take care Cate...you are a lovely person.

Luv Nouse

Written by Nouse, 31. Aug 2008 09:16 AM

Alot of us have exchanged numbers.
Ive got a dozen so if any of those people go disappearo I can contact them that way.
They'll also have numbers of others on here that I dont.

Generally if someone's gone missing a post would be done askin if anyone's heard from them.
People text others, the circle grows... Usually someone can get in contact.
If mobiles are turned off it becomes a problem...

Pete was given his instructions 12mths ago, his wife or daughter'll contact us.

Great post Cate, very important.
x

Written by Gyps, 31. Aug 2008 11:22 AM

Thanks for being interested at all in my rubbish cateblack!

Written by maple, 31. Aug 2008 11:24 AM

I think what you feel is only natural. We may be faceless people, but perhaps that is why it is so easy to open up in a way that we can't offline. And we do share, we share so much, and this forms a bond between us. I don't think you are addicted to the drama, I think you really care about the people on here. We are each other's mutual support. That is admirable, not melodramatic.

I know how you feel though. I have a friend in Ethiopia that I met when I was over there in 2004. My only contact with him is email, but given that he works in the field for an aid organisation he has very little internet access. Sometimes months go by without hearing from him and I worry that something has happened to him, and that I will never know.

In answer to your ponderings, my scar is healing well, I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but at least I don't hate it anymore.

Written by babz, 31. Aug 2008 11:56 AM

I settle with Nouse's comments.

No one would know, and I certainly would never inform anyone how I feel or what I plan to do.

I would leave as I arrived, It is as it is meant to be.

Good Health to you.

B.

Written by Deleted_User, 31. Aug 2008 12:02 PM

HI CATE, l am not sure what to write so l would just like to send you a big hug and l suppose l am feeling like the restless years at the momement,at least we have all the fantastic ads to keep us amused [not] Anyway hun take care and smile at least once when those [fuc###kd] up thrush ads come on
rubee xxx

Written by Deleted_User, 1. Sep 2008 11:41 AM

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