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still the same...

A page in the diary "Meandering Thoughts"
Written by cateblack 20. Aug 2008 08:24 PM

I am not sure what is happening... my mood is still low... most of the time... but every now and then I find myself feeling good... but it goes away again and i am left feeling bereft ... i am just sleeping and watching tv... i go out but still have no motivation... i spoke to my sister last night for her birthday and she said we talked on Sunday... now I remember ringing her but i do not remember what we talked about... my memory of the day was negative down... but she said I sounded fine... she said we talked about the Olympics... i have no recall of this...

i read the diaries and make some comments... i feel a bit angry and irritable... i hate the ad for a car... says wipers on wipers off.. lights go on lights go off... it is lancer... i just heard it .. i hate that ad... i want to hit them...

i did my shopping this morning and every week i am able to buy less and less... for my set budget... i get meals on wheels but technically i can not afford that either... i should lose my internet and my cable tv...

i have to lose my home i told you... living is getting harder and harder... i have no motivation to change my life...

mental health nurse gave me an assigment to watch my thoughts and record them and note what part of my head they come from... i have to write them down soon... i have been thinking of the assignment...

enough now... thank you for the comments made on my last diary... i know this mood should pass... I think if i wait long enough it will go as easily as it came... pdoc increased my lithium to see if that affects the biochemistry...

oh well... sigh...

take care

rgds
cate

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Comments from the community:

Hey Cate,

My heart goes out to you.

Try and Hold on and Be Strong.

Do you like the movies at all??

Could you take yourself to one or something??

Be gentle with yourself and try to rmember this too shalt pass even though at the time you think it possibly can't.

You'll be in my thoughts Matey,

Take Good Care

and try not to get the internet taken off as I get alot from your posts and comments.

Have you thought of pre paid internet??

Okay enough of my rambling.

Bye for Now

Susie Woozie

Written by Deleted_User, 20. Aug 2008 09:46 PM

Hiya Cate. I'm not sure on the rules on posting web addresses, but I've just signed up for free with sparkpeople.com and while it's a bit complicated to get my head around, already I'm finding it useful for motivation, health info, nutrition, fitness, budgeting... the whole darned thing.

Now, I never would have believed this, but I'm around 130kg or so, and after i honestly put in every last thing I ate in a day, I've found that over a few days, I'm a fair bit below what I need to be taking in terms of various nutirents, and even calories. I literally average 1000 cal per day, yet I need to be eating at least 1400 to lose weight!

Got some advice on that from my GP, and basically, my metabolism is weird because of my bad habits - eg I tend to eat only once or twice per day and usually really late at night.

So...because I've made a boots and all decision to work with the website to find motivation, good advice, gentle exercise program I can do at home while watching tv, plus heaps of other stuff...I'm already feeling in a better place.

I had no idea I was so low in nutrients like Potassium etc - I wonder what effect this has had on my moods!!

Anyway, I just wanna encourage you to take a look at the site, take the time to learn your way around it, and maybe join. It can only help! It's something I'm appreciating in conjunction with Depnet - you don't have to give this away!!

Written by g463, 21. Aug 2008 10:10 PM

Big, big hugs Cate. Wish I knew how to help you somehow, but I don't so just know that I'm thinking of you.

Written by babz, 22. Aug 2008 07:37 PM

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