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I love you Cate

Written by Alchemy, 6. Jul 2008 12:21 AM

Cate,

I think I understand where you are coming from. I have been where you have - only showered when I felt really really yucky. For me, it was the depression and just no motivation.

All I can say is do what you can hun. Do what you are comfortable with.

Take care babe.

Love
WD

Written by WhiteDove, 6. Jul 2008 02:17 AM

Hi Cate
i too have these feelings and refuse to shower , last time was about two weeks before i summoned up the courage to do so .I feel like i am going to pass out and fall through the glass mostly it's worse when i have to close my eyes to wash my face then the vertigo clicks in big time.
So don't be embarassed you are not alone i too loved my showers twice a day mostly. it to me feels like claustraphobia in some form . It also causes me grief when the better half comes down on me like a ton of bricks ,but we don't sleep together anymore so i don't care.
On a lighter note i don't have to worry about my hair as i am one the lucky guys who is folicaly challenged,or bald as they say ,and god i used to love my hair it was my my best feature .
Anyway you were brave to confess and at least now you know you are not alone in this, whatever it is?
Take care Demons48

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Jul 2008 12:20 PM

Dearest Cate

You are such a brave lady and I admire your honesty and courage to say it like it is.

I can relate to not having the energy to shower or clean or even brush my teeth somedays. When I am at my worst with depression, it is hard to leave my bed. Depression does make us physically weak as well as mentally drained. I sometimes struggle to do the house to, but i set a little goal for myself - just wash up the dishes and pop the washing on. If that's all I can do, then so be it.

Take care Cate - we all love you to bits!

Love Dolly x

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Jul 2008 03:25 PM

Cate

Thanks for being honest about what has been going on in your life lately. I can tell you I can only vacumn my house because of all the clutter around the place - and it doesn't get done regularly. The bath and toilets get cleaned when I have the energy or when I have to nag hubby to clean the loo. I eat precooked meals as I don't have the energy/will to cook. Hubby used to cook but he won't do it either - not because he is sick but because I have got him on the precooked meals. He does some cooking when he wants some extra food/vegies to eat.

The only reason I shower is because of my greasy hair and the fact that it needs to be washed daily. I have been tempted to not shower but it is a double standard for me not to shower and hubby to shower/not shower because of his smokes.

I hope this week is better for you and thanks for your honesty. Go Girl!!! The situation can only go up for you.

Go Cate!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. Jul 2008 03:52 PM

Not showering is definately part of depression. I still do, mostly, though when bad I go for days on end without, but it's always an effort not an automatic action and I don't feel better after, just cleaner. Also, when really severe I hate the sensation of the water on my skin and I know that is a definate physical difference on those days as it is quite pronounced. As is the feeling of wet hair, it really distresses me at times and yet my whole life I have washed my hair every day. It also feels like a production somehow rather than just a shower so explain all that please!
I have more than once hidden from people rather than take a shower so there's my confession cate. This from a former 2 shower a day person...often there just seems no reason, and the days blend into each other...no-one in my life knows this as I simply stay away from people at these times..
Interesting you say you don't feel depressed, I have said many times depression isn't feeling sad or teary or whatever it is specific symptoms...like not showering, not cleaning, inactivity, not sleeping, not functioning....all that stuff. Depression of functioning is what it is, not depression of mood per se, though I guess that precedes all. Answer for you cate is that your hygiene issues are probably a combination of both. Both of your conditions make these day to day things abnormally difficult.
All the best in improving your situation, you are very intelligent and diplomatic cate by the way....

Written by maple, 6. Jul 2008 06:22 PM

Hi Cate,
I think that it is part of the dep. Sometimes it seems like it is just too much effort - getting undressed, turning the shower on, washing, getting dressed, drying the hair - it is so much effort it is daunting. That's not even on the particularly bad days, it is just on the days when the dep/BP has got me in one of those 'I give up' or 'I can't be bothered' (or a combination of both) states. It is definitely worse when the dep is really bad though. I remember when I first got sick I went for 2 weeks without showering or washing my hair, it was rank, but I just could not physically get myself in the shower/bath. I too used to love my baths and showers, but sometimes just can't summon the effort. Its nothing to be ashamed of, and kudos to you for being so honest. xo

Written by babz, 6. Jul 2008 06:58 PM

Its not really a confession so to speak sweety, cos looking at all your replies, it seems to me that its just a part of the illness. Don't ever be ashamed as these things can be out of our control. You truly are a wonderful and inspiring person.

Take care
Matt xx

Written by Deleted_User, 6. Jul 2008 07:37 PM

Cate

Thanks for your note in my diary that you were not pointing your finger at me. I know you don't mean anything by it and I am sure I am one of the people you want to shake until they see reality but when you are sick you are sick and no one, not even your psychiatrist has all the answers/knows everything to do for you.

Again I thank you for reassuring me. I don't know why all of a sudden people in depnet think I am paranoid or something. Just accept me with all my problems/issues and things will be fine.

Go Cate!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 8. Jul 2008 10:47 PM

Cate

I know you mean no malious by your comments in Not Happy's diary as you ocassionally reply to some of my diaries and you allow me to reply to yours.

If people just left me alone - they know who they are - everyone in depnet would be happy. I did what I was asked by Not Happy but when you are being attacked it is time to defend yourself, because a person has no right to put down another deppie and use I'm self opinionated as an excuse. They are mean and nasty and hurtful because all deppies need support and tlc, not abuse and name calling.

Thanks again!!

Go Cate!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 8. Jul 2008 10:54 PM

Cate I missed this diary entry Just Remember what a special Lady you are TC

Written by Deleted_User, 9. Jul 2008 06:31 PM