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Hi cate,

Thank you for your replies to my diary entries, it must be hard for you to muster up support for other people when you're feeling so empty yourself. So thank you, I really appreciate your comments.

I think feeling nothing is also a part of depression. I'm on a rollercoaster at the moment and I wish I could just get off the bloody thing. I was feeling nothing for quite a while a couple of months ago, then I started to feel really great, then this last week I've been back down in the dumps again.

I think the feeling of nothingness will pass, as you said, you did feel angry tonight with your friend (and I'm glad you sorted it all out). But I think the depression just suppresses feelings and emotions at times. Your moods could fluctuate with your menstrual cycle too, perhaps monitoring them for a month or two to see if there's any pattern forming would be worth a try.

You do exist cate and you are a wonderful, caring and supportive person here on depnet as I'm sure you are for those lucky enough to know you in person.

Take care,

Karen xxx

Written by fly, 12. Jun 2008 10:25 PM

Hi Cate, you raise someinteresting points about not having any emotions. I found it very interesting last year to learn anad accept what depression is...it is actually the depressing of emotions and thus mood.

Depression in its truest state is what you describe feeling nothing but then getting a rush of some sort of emotion, in your case anger with your friend.


Feelings of non existance are so familiar to me that you saying these things resonates so totally true.

But.... I think depression also casues us to ossilate between feeling "just OK" and at other times feeling absolutely worthless and almost invisable. The rides are many.

I guess it about learning as much as you can about your own situatuion and then trying to live a life wiht it or running through it or whatever.

Cate your comments to my diaries are always heartfelt, honest and insightful, you have skill in communicaitong what you think and I am grateful to have you here.

Im a bit of a take it or leave it person with the diaries, I certainly do not comment on all of them but I have my special ones that I wouldnt miss

Keep talking and reflecting as you travel this journey, we are all on this road to gether some where, and sometimes our paths cross, and for that I am thankful


Take good care cate

PS excuse bad typing rusing at end and no time to spell check.....

Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 12. Jun 2008 10:39 PM

Hey Cate,
Yes I get this too. a flat void where there should be emotion for most of the time, then a huge unmanagable flood of negative emotion if I'm roused to anger.

Which is often.

Ironic (and frigging typical) that there's no corresponding rush of pleasant emotions when something positive happens....

Distressingly I find that all too often these days I'm not feeling any love or empathy towards others, and this used to be a trademark characteristic of mine.

I think it's the meds.

Written by akita1970, 13. Jun 2008 10:50 AM

Cate

Not sure what the answer to this entry is. At least you are thinking about why you are feeling this way. Talk to your psychiatrist about it and I am sure he will tell you the reason.

Go Cate!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 14. Jun 2008 05:17 PM