Deleted Revision then Gyps
A page in the diary ""
Written by geo 15. Aug 2008 06:45 PM
Ok gyps, thx for your entry, and yes, I've done alot of battling, and I succeeded. And yes, I still have that fighting spirit, but do I want to fignt now??? That's the rub. I wanted to maybe help others who have suffered as I have, hence my Uni studies, but now i wonder if it can be done. I don't think any amount of counselling can really help while a person is in that negative state. I really believe that support such as given here is as good as any. Eventually, we make adjustments to our own lives, or our bodies heal themselves, so that it facilitates an easier transition to recovery.
I believe that we can improve by changing our thinking patterns, as I did. Now though, I find it more of a battle, or maybe it's just another level I have to surmount. Can we ever find true happiness? Yes, we can, but to hold onto it is the challenge.
Amoung other things, I left my form of religion, which makes me a pariah and a sinner in their eyes. Perhaps I am, but I'm giving myself the opportunity to meditate without any preconceptions or restraints.
I also found 'true' love. I now know it actually exists; although, it is lost to me, and not of my own making. It sucks though, to have found happiness only to lose it. So then, such is life, and we roll with the punches right? And then we die......we can never be sure of anything I guess. Perhaps,if we don't have any expectations, and accept what happens to us, then we will be happy??? Or do we need the sadness to appreciate the happiness??? Something to think about eh! Still doesn't help though.
Cheers, geo