Goodnight Cruel World
A page in the diary "The Days Of My Life"
Written by lifesucks 27. Jan 2008 08:10 PM
I am so confused right now I dont know what to do. I feel rejected or abandoned wherever I turn. Who I am is just not good enough. The pain I feel is so intense I don't know where to turn. All I know is I need help and I need it now.
I told my husband that I think I need to go into hospital and he said that if I know I am feeling like that then I don't need to.
How does someone tell you they love you and turn you away?
I am a total failure and I can't even begin to describe how much I hate myself right now. I was the result of an affair and given up for adoption and the only place in my life that I felt wanted was in the arms of my uncle who sexually abused me. Even then I wasn't wanted I was just a means to an end.
There is no one I can call. My psychiatrist is away on holidays and so is my psychologist. Even if there was someone I could call I would say the wrong thing anyway. My life is screwed, my head hurts, all hope has gone and I am so tired.
Goodnight cruel world