Worn out and it's lunchtime
A page in the diary ""
Written by riles 18. Jan 2008 01:46 PM
Feeling a bit like my energy is drained at the moment. I know it sounds insignificant in comparison to some of the other problems that people here are dealing with, but I suppose maybe my thresh hold for problems is not as high as others. This morning I found it difficult to get out of bed, it probably wouldn't be a problem if it was only me at home, but with a three year old, he just wants my attention. I have been aware for some time of how difficult it is for me to get out of bed, but today, I think one thing lead to another and that is why some of my sons behaviour happened. I was a bit in slow mode, this morning once I got up, I have been promising myself to get out of bed at around 7:00, this didn't happen, I often feel guilty that I sleep in, so I got up at around 8:00, then things just seemed to take a long time to do. I think that I wasn't giving my son enough attention, not I think, I know. We had breakfast together, then he got out some toys to play with, while I tidied up, I took a phone call during this time, then set up some playdough for him to play with. Everything seemed to be going well, til I said it was time to pack up and that we would go for a walk. He said he didn't want to go for a walk and he didn't want to tidy up. After this he threw the playdough around the living area, when I put him in quiet time (time out) he started smearing his playdough covered hands on the walls, I warned him and said that if it happened again I would give him a smack, quick as anything he was back at it, so I gave him a smack (sorry if you don't agree, he would probably only get one every 6 months or so) after we discussed his behaviour and he appologised we set about cleaning up the playdough together. I took him into the bathroom and started cleaning his feet, he was very unco operative. In the end he smeared playdough handmarks on the mirror, when I told him to clean it up (logical consequence) he threw the towel at it and it swiped me across the face. I roughly picked him up and put him in his bedroom. To this I felt really angry and really hurt. I think he was just testing the boundaries, but I just felt a rage of emotions (sadness and anger) at his behaviour. When he came out of his room he did appologise and said that he didn't mean to hit me across the face with the towel. But I suppose I just feel worn out and it is only lunch time. He is having a rest now, I'm hoping that he will fall asleep, but he is chatting to himself. Hopefully all of the naughty behaviour is gone for the moment so that I can get some energy for the rest of the afternoon. Hope your day isn't quite as challenging.