Thank you for comments
A page in the diary ""
Written by girlie 11. Apr 2008 10:58 AM
Hi all
Just a quick note to say thank you for your comments. It really ment a lot to me.
I went to the Dr and he gave me some new tablets to calm me and stop the anxiety attacks plus he put my zoloft up to 150mg. The anxiety tabs make me sleep at night and calm me during the day, even thouh I still have the sick knot in my stomach but it's not controlling me. I'm back at work today.
My partner of 15 years is coming to councelling with me on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it but dreading it at the same time. I really don't know how we will get over this. He has now admitted to an affair and as far as I am concerned his treatment of me over the last 15 years has not been good enough. I am so angry with myself for accepting his behaviour and letting it all happen.
I really don't know what will happen. The timing sucks, as he is giving notice on his job today and will be starting a new job in a new industry in two weeks. It will not be good for him having this type of stress starting a new job.
Even though all this has happened, I still love him so much. He can be a wonderful person and very thoughtful but can also be the total opposite. I feel like I have never been good enough for him, that I could never give him enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not brainy enough.... so I tried harder and harder to please until I had a breakdown.
I am terrified about being alone again after 15 years, I don't know how I will cope...... Anyway I guess the councelling will help sort this mess out one way or the other.
Better get back to work.... Take care all and thanks again.
Girlie