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Written by girlie 11. Apr 2008 10:58 AM

Hi all

Just a quick note to say thank you for your comments. It really ment a lot to me.
I went to the Dr and he gave me some new tablets to calm me and stop the anxiety attacks plus he put my zoloft up to 150mg. The anxiety tabs make me sleep at night and calm me during the day, even thouh I still have the sick knot in my stomach but it's not controlling me. I'm back at work today.

My partner of 15 years is coming to councelling with me on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it but dreading it at the same time. I really don't know how we will get over this. He has now admitted to an affair and as far as I am concerned his treatment of me over the last 15 years has not been good enough. I am so angry with myself for accepting his behaviour and letting it all happen.

I really don't know what will happen. The timing sucks, as he is giving notice on his job today and will be starting a new job in a new industry in two weeks. It will not be good for him having this type of stress starting a new job.

Even though all this has happened, I still love him so much. He can be a wonderful person and very thoughtful but can also be the total opposite. I feel like I have never been good enough for him, that I could never give him enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not brainy enough.... so I tried harder and harder to please until I had a breakdown.

I am terrified about being alone again after 15 years, I don't know how I will cope...... Anyway I guess the councelling will help sort this mess out one way or the other.

Better get back to work.... Take care all and thanks again.

Girlie

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Comments from the community:

Hi Girlie,
Thanks for your comment on my diary.

You cant blame yourself for your partner's actions. What he did is wrong, and he is the one to blame for that, not you. A lot of men are weak in that area, no matter who they are with. It's not because of anything that you are lacking.

Do you mind telling me what anxiety meds you are on? I am on effexor, which is treating my depression ok, but my anxiety is still really bad.

Take care of yourself hun, and I hope the counselling session on Tuesday works out well for you.

Written by survivor, 11. Apr 2008 12:57 PM

Girlie

congratulations on getting back to work...

The counselling session with partner is a new day for both of you... keep your expectations realistic... rome was not built in a day... so one session will not fix everything... it is good you admit your partner has not always been good to you although at times he is sweet and thoughtful... there is nothing wrong with you... you are fine as you are... you are pretty enough and smart enough and good enough... start that as a mantra... be gentle on yourself...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 11. Apr 2008 07:56 PM

Girlie

Going to counselling with your partner can work our for you if you are able to sort this affair matter over or it means it is over for the two of you.

It must have been a shock for you to learn about it but if he is willing to go to counselling with you, this is a good thing.

I am glad your session with the doctor went well today, and gave you some anxiety tablets and increased your a/d.

Hope you day at work went well.

Go Girlie!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 11. Apr 2008 08:40 PM