chasing solitude
A page in the diary ""
Written by girlie 9. Jan 2008 05:21 PM
Why can't I just run away and hide? I fantasise about it all the time......Xmas was so busy, too many people to look after, so sick of cooking & cleaning......
Just a few days away, that's all I really want. Peace and solitude so I can be alone, sleep and rest.....so tired all the time.......
Work is very hard to face, so busy and no motivation to do anything. I feel like I have mountains ahead of me, the anxiety is killing me....feel so sick and knoted up inside. I had to do some presentations today and it so so hard. I felt like I was stammering alot and people were looking right through me...... I know they are looking at me, wondering 'what the'? 'what the hell is going on with her these days'? I just want to hide from them all.
I guess I will just keep plodding on, waiting for my new meds to do something special for me and make me feel human again, make me feel better...
The last of our visitors will be gone on Friday so we will have the house too ourselves on the weekend, first time since 20 Dec. Too long to have visitors, too long for me anyway. Looking forward to resting (after cleaning) and spending time with my partner.
Girlie