up...down...up...down
A page in the diary ""
Written by girlie 31. Dec 2007 05:40 PM
That's me....... up and down all day and night.
I have just started my new meds, nausea, dizzy and all that.
Last night I totally withdrew. We are staying with friends in Brissie at the moment and I just had to hide in the bedroom under the impression I was reading a book. I just wanted to hide away and cry without anyone seeing me and making a fuss. I hate that. Please just leave me alone..... totally alone.... I need space to wallow.....
Then.... I had a burst of energy and got up and went out to join the party.... that lasted about 1/2 hour until I could feel myself slipping back and the tears started again.
Woke up this morning..... bugger... I need to go to the loo, that means getting out of bed and people seeing me and knowing I am awake.... can't I just stay here all day.....I want to be alone.
I finally get up and don't even want to make eye contact with anyone but force myself to be social and have a chat to all..... I even join them for shopping and lunch.....and feel pretty good..... then crash... piss off everyone....just leave me alone...alone...alone.... don't look at me.... I'm not a freak......leave me alone....
I busy myself doing a few things just so I don't have to talk to anyone.....
Me time for a while & I feel a bit better.
Now they are asking "what are you doing" "What are you looking at on-line"? bugger.... I have to go now and make an effort to see my beautiful friends. I am sooooo lucky to have them, they love me and show such patients towards me and this hideous disease that plauges me..... I appreciate them more than I could ever tell them....
So HNY to everyone out there, lets hope that 2008 brings some stability to us all. That is my new years resolution..... to endeavour to have a "Balanced Life"....
To Us
Girlie