New Meds - hurry up
A page in the diary ""
Written by girlie 26. Dec 2007 04:32 PM
Christmas day is over.... Dr made sure I would be Ok ish on Xmas day, he didn't want me to be really down yesterday. He calculated the decrease in meds well. But today it has hit me. Still a couple of days on a very low dose before 2 days without anything.... Oh how I am dreading that. Feel teary today and just want to be by myself. No chance of that as we are visiting friends and no where to hide. They are all playing cards and drinking, I am sitting here on the end of the table writing this..... Wish I could go away and hide somewhere....alone so I could have a good cry and feel sorry for myself....
I start the new meds on New Years Day. I'm hoping that it is a good sign that 2008 will be better... new meds... a change and hopefully an improvement.
I feel like I am looking through a window at my friends.....watching them having fun, laughing and carrying on..... I feel so far removed from that world. I was once a big part of that, but that girl has gone away and no matter how hard I try, I cannot drag her back from the black hole.... The longer she is gone the harder it is to imagine that she will ever return.
I have taken so much comfort from all the diary entries I have read. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all sharing your stories and feelings.....Thank you.
Roll on the New Year so maybe I can feel better...
Take care all
Girlie