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Dr Dr give me the news! And my weird friend

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Written by untouchable 18. Jun 2008 02:47 AM

Horray horrah I finally saw a psychologist and just one visit has made a world of difference. Ok well in some ways I feel a bit worse, old wounds have been opened and wounds I couldn't see have been ruptured. I am more aware of what I am feeling, hence I am more panicky and tense at the moment. But I feel like there is an end to this. It might be painful and confronting but there is a way out. I dont believe right now that I will ever be happy and please dont think I am happy right now, I still feel terrible but I have hope- finally.

My appointment today highlighted that my past employment has crushed me and is still causing a lot of issue's for me- I never would have believed that a job could cause anyone to be like me but I could have lost everything because of it, my house, friends, mind the lot.
I have some family issues that are too painful to express here, not abuse, but I will not discuss. I thought I was managing ok but obviously not. Then there is my basterd ex who has destroyed my ability to trust and love myself, if loving someone did that once why would I do that again??

oh well I hope I get through this fast, I feel myself slipping slipping slipping. I still said no to meds (I am a STUBBORN woman) I'll see what the next few weeks bring.

OH I told a very close friend of my issues yesterday, her reply was 'yes well we all get like that' then when I said I was irrational she replied 'I know you can be a bitch, when you are I just think, oh well you are being a bitch again I'll get over it'!!!! dont get me wrong she is a wonderful person and has a terrible lot to deal with at the moment herself but I was shocked and hurt and did snap back. Then today she came home, knowing I had my first appointment today, telling me how stressed she was and showing me a quiz that explained how stressed she is. Someone told her she should see a counseler but she said that she couldnt see the point they couldnt tell her what she doesst already know so whats the point. I of course got very angry with this (why today???) Then she asked me if I was ok because I was very quiet. GGrraagg I have no idea why she said this. I dont think she meant bad, perhaps she is afraid. I just dont know.

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Comments from the community:

Untouchable

You are a stubborn woman doing all this with no meds. Don't know how you are coping but you seem to be doing a good job.

Glad the psychologist went well - made some discoveries - ones you can talk about and ones you need to keep private and that is good. Learning about yourself.

As for your friend - she sounds like she cares but just. To tell you these things on a day that you have had is not nice and to call you a bitch is a bit harsh - thats what you get for no meds!!! You have to make the decision to stay with her as a friend or say bye to her and only you can do that.

Hun, I know all about the work situation and it nearly cost me my home but we settled out of court - got some money but some more would have been better. Where has it got me over the last 4 years - out of work, lost skills, lost confidence, phobic to get on public transport. It is not nice so I am glad you are still here and not somewhere else as a result of what work can do.

Go Untouchable!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 18. Jun 2008 08:02 AM

Hi Untouchable

It never ceases to amaze me, how many of us here have a mental or stress related illness due to work problems.

I have a psychological injury caused by a vicious, destructive workplace and despite contant pleas for help and or a transfer, I received nothing expect ongoing misery. God how I wish i was stronger back then and stood up to people. The ones that caused all of this misery have moved on with their lives or have been promoted. No job is worth losing your health over - but I discovered that too late. I am now trying to regain my confidence and health with the help of a wonderful rehabilition officer and a very forgiving work placement area in a different department.

Best wishes with the psych visits. Hang in there.

Best wishes
Dolly x

Written by Deleted_User, 18. Jun 2008 10:16 AM

Good luck with the Psychologist, and I think you have learnt really early that there will be difficulty successfully sharing that particular stuff with that particular friend. Doesn't mean she is not your friend for other things. I agree she seems insensitive and it would have hurt but now you know....really your Psychological journey will be your own business anyway when it comes down to it.
Alternately, some people have to have/do whatever their friends are doing but it takes years of friendship to recognise that pattern and by then it is usually a source of amusement and minor annoyance only.

Written by maple, 18. Jun 2008 10:37 AM

I was told once that if I didn't take meds my condition would get worse and perhaps so bad I'd never get out of it. I didn't take the meds and getting that bad is exactly what happened. So, I suggest you get advice about the consequences of not taking meds at this early stage.

Written by TerryN, 18. Jun 2008 02:53 PM

Hi,

It's great you saw a psychologist, from my experience it always gets worse before it gets better and this in a way brings further hope as it re-assures us not to be discouraged as things with time do get better when we seek help.

I think it's so wonderful you have made this step and seeing a psychologist in my mind is just as important and successful then medication. Medication is great for crisi moments when you are suicidal, or incredible anxious or hear voices but most meds do not actually solve the problem they just make the self discovery process easier to cope with. So talking is the best first step to take and medication can come after when you are ready.

Also for your friend she is obviuosly hurting herself and not coping, she is reaching out for help and support from you, but at the same time I do not think she is going the right way about it. Try to encourage her to see a psychologist, it's good to talk but if you both have problems you need to detach yourself from her as it may bring you both down. I'm not saying to not talk to her but sometimes you have to chose the right friend to open up to.

So far you have done great and be proud of yourself!

Bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 18. Jun 2008 04:56 PM

recognises that sometimes yr havin a bad day & dont mean 2b bitchy- hence she says she'll get ova it?
Just a different way of looking at things.
There's no point debating it tho, it obviously distresses u so why dont u ask her???
Mmmwa
xxx

Written by Gyps, 18. Jun 2008 11:28 PM

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