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Oh Avril,

I know soooooo well how you feel. Your year wasn't empty, although it feels like it. I know. You have loved and have experienced love, and you must have felt incredible pain, and the emptiness is all your body can bear at the moment. Step by step, slowly, you will start to see the reason behind all what has happened, you will feel the pain and with the pain comes the memory of love, which is the meaning of everything. These things need time. More than a year after my canadian experience, which I still would call one of the greatest loves of my life, more than one year after I have moments when I start to understand: That it has happened. That it wasn't just a nightmare. That it is part of my life. That it had good parts also. That I am still alive and can go on with my life - soon, when the time has come.

Life is sooo long and there is still a lot of space left for many, many good weeks and years for you. Give it time.

Big hugs,
Luise.

What about that acting thing we all crossed our fingers for? Any news?

Written by Luise, 4. Dec 2007 03:49 AM

im sure if you go over almost HALF my diary entries they revovle around a guy who broke my heart, disapointment (more in myself than anything) and negativity. then i woke up, my dear. and its as simple as mentally manipulating your life into perspective. taking a step back and realising where your at and where you WANT to be. the things that happen in our life are sometimes not in our life plans. we don't expect a guy to break our hearts, we don't expect our decisions to be regretted, we don't expect to miss a piece of the past. but it happens. and when we DO expect these things its easier to deal with. but the things that are UNEXPECTED hurt us, and we continue to spiral downwards as the negative progresses. but what you really need to do is understand that the negativity is progressing because you're ALLOWING it to.

who the hell says you can't apply for another acting school? heck while you're at it- apply for a educational course, one that is much life uni life. and maybe mr right isn't Peter but he sure is somewhere out there. don't be afraid to get back into the expanse of your life and let yourself be free. don't take it as a dutiful thing, take it as a I WANT TO BE HERE- I WANT TO EXPERIENCE LIFE AND EVERYTHING IT HAS TO OFFER experience. otherwise you'll wake up everyday wishing you had this, had that.

well, here's some great news.

you can have it all.

just go out and get it. if it doesn't work out- congradualte yourself for trying, then pick yourself up and try again. and don't stop until you're where YOU want to be.

best wishes.

Written by cristina, 4. Dec 2007 04:21 AM

I totally know what you're feeling - about how everything was supposed to be better and different, but wasn't.

The thing I have come to accept though is that it is a lot easier to fall than it is to climb back up. It is possible, but it takes time. You may not realise it because it wasn't as dramatic as your fall, but you are slowly but surely climbing back up. Maybe next year will be your year, maybe it won't. I can say that even though you might not achieve all your dreams, and it probably won't be perfect, that it will almost certainly be better than this year. How do I know this? Because you are a fighter, and you are working hard because you KNOW you deserve better than this year. You WILL get there.

Written by babz, 4. Dec 2007 11:16 AM

Hello - thankyou for your lovely compassionate sounding email, I hope you are feeling better today.

Maryea

Written by maryea, 4. Dec 2007 06:17 PM

Winterrain

You need to start with a good day, week, month, year. I know how you are feeling. I have been waiting for a court case for 3 years and now it is likely to be April 2008 so how do I get closure on my situation when the crap is still going on.

Forget Pete and concentrate on acting school and I am sure you coming year will be a great one.

Go Winterrain!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 4. Dec 2007 11:08 PM