leaving
A page in the diary "Steve the Diary"
Written by winterrain 29. Oct 2007 12:31 AM
I just want to go, get away from everything that reminds me of Peter, of my past - I know I'll still need to work on it all, but I won't be living in a flat we chose togethr, that he helped me move into, that he left to go to India from, in a suburb where we spent most of our time together, I hate it, I hate it and I can't do it anymore. Even though we went to Ballarat once together - I'm still going to act my arse off at that audition, and in Sydney too, just because I'm so tired and so weak and sometimes it's better for babies to have no mum and a stable family for a while than a totally unstable family - I can come back weekends and holidays, or once a month and holidays - My parents have already said I can stay at their place when I do.
But god it hurts.
Plus, I've been sleeping with a guy I dated for about a month and am now developing feelings for - I don't know what the feelings are, but they are something...so I wrote him this message and used Babel fish to translate it into Greek and sent it to him at work - Now I'm desperately hoping he won't get it as it's so obvious he has no interest in me other than friendship/sex which should be fine - as he is really into another girl and waiting to hear if she'll reciprocate - I just love how safe he makes me feel - like the pain from Peter will eventaully go....