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A page in the diary "Steve the Diary"
Written by winterrain 26. Oct 2007 05:34 AM

well, that says it all, collapsed into a little crying ball and cut and cut and cut - and it didn't hurt because my heart hurts so much, so it didn't help and I just want Peter back - I know he was wrong and bad and all of that but things were meant to be better now, he was meant to be back from overseas, I was meant to have him in my life, have his support and instead I'm in a flat he and I found together, in his suburb, with my ex getting so angry with my son for dropping and leaving behind his bike helmet he takes it away and gives it to his sister (HELLO!!!!!) and then, because my boy is so sad and frustrated and upset with his life, and he doesn't know how to deal with it, when he hits my ex (which is bad) he gets grabbed by the back of his neck and thrown over my ex's sholder and carried home like a sack. HE"S 5. He needs LOVE. We were never consistant in the 'if you don't look after something then it gets taken away for an hour, or two hours' so how does he know????? He's my little boy and he's 5 and he's crying his heart out and my ex is looking at him as though he's the most hated thing in the world, because he didn't pick up his helmet when asked....
And I can't make this better...
I want out.

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Comments from the community:

OMG, how sad, i feel sorry for your little boy, your ex needs to remember he is only 5yrs old and kids will leave things laying around, thats what kids do.
Yes he does need to be tought not to leave things laying around but it's not the end of the world if he does. As for him hitting your ex,well kids at that age do that from time to time too, but for you ex to reply in a violent way is so wrong, im wondering who the child is here. Your boy has tobe tought how to vent his anger other than hitting someone, and the way your ex is going about it, is teaching nothing.

my heart goes out to you.

Mike

Written by Deleted_User, 26. Oct 2007 08:36 AM

Hey Avril,

don't know what to say. I feel with you and your little boy. It was unfair from your ex. And I know the heartpain from missing somebody with whom you wished to have a good life together. I know it so well.

Love,
Luise.

Written by Luise, 26. Oct 2007 09:26 AM

Hi Winterrain
Cutting won't solve anything, you know that don't you? Are you getting some help for you and your son? He needs you to be a stabilising force in his life, you both deserve better...Please see a doctor, talk to a therapist and get some help so that you cope more effectively. Perhaps a councelor can help you sort out how to deal with your ex. There is a better future for you, believe it!
Get help today.
Regards
Tank

Written by tank, 26. Oct 2007 10:55 AM

Winterrain

You might want your ex back but he is not good for you and your son. Kids are kids and the ex should realise this - they leave things around - all in part of being a kid. Self harming is not the way to go. Get help for you and your son - family counselling to overcome your ex. You deserve a better person than your ex.

Go Winterrain!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 26. Oct 2007 08:14 PM

Hey Avril,
I know Tank means well in his comment, but I don't think it is particularly helpful for you. I know you're getting help, and I know you are trying as hard as you possibly can. The hardest things that I have learnt about the road to recover is that it isn't a straight line. You will get better, then fall back a little, then get better again, then fall back a little. So when you cut you took a step back, but the important thing for you to remember is that it is just a little step back. You're not back at the beginning, so don't beat yourself up over it. I'm the first to stick my hand up about knowing how bad cutting is, but I'm also the first to stick my hand up and say it is a lot better than some of the other things you could have done. So accept that it happened, that it wasn't necessarily the best thing to do, but don't lose sight of the bigger picture.

You'll get there hun, promise.

Written by babz, 26. Oct 2007 08:23 PM