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Reasons not to cut

A page in the diary "Steve the Diary"
Written by winterrain 2. Oct 2007 12:54 AM

Because it will satisfy those who cause you pain,
Because deep down, it's just another failure,
Because you have so much scar tissue it won't heal,
Because your little girl is growing up and will realise that mum isn't just accident prone
Because nothing, nothing, nothing on the outside can express the loathing I feel for me on the inside right now
Because it won't hurt enough
Because it will hurt too much
Because I don't want to be that person
Because I don't want to be my mother
Just because, because it's expected of me, because if he wounds me enough i wound myself and i think he likes that
Because I suck enough already
Because emergency room doctors won't use anesthetic
Because I don't want to go to hospital.
Because I'm too tired and too sad and it's not fair that thats an option for me..
hoped that would help - not much.

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Comments from the community:

Because one day you when you are better you will forever have the mark of this time you so desperately want to forget,
Because you will perpetuate the cycle of self-loathing,

Written by babz, 2. Oct 2007 01:01 AM

P.S. Not use anesthetic?! Isn't that, like, negligence or something?! They've always used local for me.

Written by babz, 2. Oct 2007 01:01 AM

((((winterrain))) - there's a hug across the miles. It is real. I hope you can feel it.

Love Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Wolveress, 2. Oct 2007 01:40 AM

because whatever you do, whatever you have done, or whatever that might have happened to you, you are a lovely worthy person.because there are people that love you, really. because there is no doubt this will all pass.

bb

Written by bluebird, 2. Oct 2007 08:15 AM

Winterrain

Because you will get better because you want to get better, you will achieve this, baby steps and you will get there.

Go Winterrain!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 2. Oct 2007 04:23 PM

I have cut, but not for about 5 weeks.

By not cutting:
You gain a little bit of strength
You take control over the nasty critic in your mind

I find matching emotion with a safer but equal expression of energy to be much better.

You want to cut:

Find the red, black and brown crayons....draw barbed wire flecked with red and do it with gusto....with crayons you can be liberal with pressure and strike effects. Get the inner filth (bad feelings) out visually so you can see it on the page. Then burn it or tear it violently into shreds....

Written by Melli, 12. Oct 2007 08:18 PM

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