Read diary

Comments from the community:

Hey Winterrain,
I'm not sure what to say..Umm, you have responded to my diaries and have been sympathetic, etc. So thank you for that!
I can only say that just because you weren't enough for that guy, doesn't mean that you aren't enough for anyone else, if that makes sense??
I know it hurts bad but better now than 6 months down the track?
I hope you can get yourself back 'up' gain, I'm still trying as well!
Good luck to us!!
Cheyne

Written by hippiechick, 10. Sep 2007 02:02 AM

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
think you know whats going on here......
Im sorry your hurting hun, no one likes to be dumped and I can fully empathise with you as you well know.....

ummmmmmm not sure what to say or how to put it...... dont want to come across as insensitive or upset you further.....

think you've hit the nail on the head about it being a "peter rebound" and to say such a thing means your not fully over peter..... which means it was never destined to work out and you know that as much as I do.... if you still have feelings for someone else then its just not going to work no matter how much you give....

As for being the first sex after the rape out of the way... hun Im truly sorry but I had no idea you had been raped, Im must've missed that one and my heart really does go out to you (((((((((((((((avril))))))))))))))) but again its another reason why it was destined not to work, but maybe you should look at it more of being a steeping stone on your way to recovering from peter and the effects of the rape?

You have proven to yourself that you CAN connect with another guy and you have proven that you CAN trust another guy. You have allowed another guy to not only get close to you but to also be intimate with you and that is a wonderful wonderful thing.

I know it doesnt ease the pain you are going through right now and there is nothing I can say to you that WILL ease your pain, just know that my heart goes out to you and if you need some words of inspiration or comfort then just read the comments you yourself have left on my diaries!

On second thoughts - if your anything like me those words wont be of any comfort to you at all coz its one thing to dish out advice but to actually follow it yourself is a completely different ball game hey?

hang in there babe, just hang in there...
Nikki
xxx

Written by Deleted_User, 10. Sep 2007 02:24 AM

Oh honey... I know it is probably very little consolation at this point, but you truly deserve a prince who will treat you like the princess that you are. He will come riding up on his white horse one day - he's just a little lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.

Written by babz, 10. Sep 2007 02:37 AM

Hey,
just read through your recent diaries and you DEFINATELY need to get your kids into counselling, but make sure its with someone who specialises in working with kids.

My daughter attends a catholic school and for a while they had a counsellor provided by the catholic education department (who was a psychologist mind you) and I actually pulled my then 7yo out of the counselling as I didnt like the way the counsellor handled things.

She was encouraging my daughter not to discuss the sessions with me (with the intention of reassuring her that she could say anything and it would remain a secret) however after having a heart to heart with my daughter where she actually wrote her grandparents a letter explaining my ex's depression to them and the fact that "sometimes when a person has depression they dont want to live anymore so they might take out a knife or gun and kill themselves".... and further on blaming herself for his depression "because she made him angry and that made his depression worse..."

I had no idea these were the things she was thinking and I needed her to know she could tell me ANYTHING, not be encouraged to keep secrets from me, so thats why I pulled her out of the counselling. I then got her into a support group for kids who's parents have a mental illness which was the best thing I could've ever done. She attended for a couple of years, unfortunately the group has closed down for a while.

I strongly believe kids DEFINATELY need counselling to understand depression or other mental illnesses as required, so they know what causes it, what signs to expect, what they can do to help, but more importantly they need to learn coping strategies for themselves and they need to know that its NOT THEIR FAULT.

Ask your local doctor, therapist, hospital etc for some contacts but ALWAYS ALWAYS KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN WITH YOUR KIDS. They are not stupid, they do however think the world revolves around them - they are kids and thats their right as its a part of learning and growing and finding out their own sense of identity, so unless they are informed otherwise, in language THEY can understand, they will think whatever is going on is THEIR fault

again, I hope I havent upset you in anyway, it'd probably be a HUGE relief to your kids to finally know why you do the things you do and to know its not their fault. Kids are pretty damn remarkable, if they know whats wrong and they know how to help or what they can do to help themselves, then they tend to do it.

look into it hun, it was the best thing I ever did. My daughter has such an understanding of the situation now, she's only ten but I can tell her that Im pretty damn miserable - and yeah they usually want some kind of explanation as to why, even if its just been a bad day at work, and she's okay with that coz then she knows to just chill out and be cool, and to give me some peace or Im gonna get real narky. Its when I STOP communicating with her that things tend to flair up at home.

Also remember if you are suffering then your kids are also suffering as they feel your pain.

By helping them you will also be helping yourself, but you also need to do it before its too late as they are clearly suffering now.

mmmwa
Nikki
xxx

Written by Deleted_User, 10. Sep 2007 02:49 AM

Winterrain

I am like the others, not sure what to say. I can say one thing, the right man will come into your life when you least expect it - it happened to me and we had lots of trials and tribulations and we are now getting married in March 2008.

Go Winterrain!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 10. Sep 2007 03:08 PM