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Making Friends and Losing the Creeps!

A page in the diary "Jen's Ponderings"
Written by Spazny 29. Jul 2008 09:29 PM

It's quite a "gutting" feeling to learn that for 31 years you've lead a life of being "in role" rather than being yourself because being yourself is just too painful. At least when I'm in role I can keep at bay the people I seem to attract, either amazingly needy people or deviates (stalkers, perverts, etc). When I finally find someone who doesn't fit this profile, one with whom an equally reciprocating relationship can occur, and where I don't have to be "in role", I don't know what to do. It's pathetic huh?? I don't know how to make friends, how to socialise, how to converse by just being me...

Any suggestions folks??

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Comments from the community:

Spazny

Ah the secret to making friends.... wish I had it... I have read that you join groups that share your interests... you listen... you ask questions... you share some personal stories about yourself... it is a role just like the other roles... i am friend... i offer my help and support in return you associate with me in public and private places...

How is that? I am sorry I wish I could help

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 30. Jul 2008 12:40 AM

Spazny,

It is difficult to make friends and we tend to use a "role" as our security against anyone knowing the "real" us. If no one know who we really are, then we can be whoever we want and will not take it personally if they do not like us.

Maybe it will strat out as you being in "role" and then when you feel comfortable knowing someone it may come naturally to be yourself? Take small steps and let it come naturally to you. It is a learning experience and each step taken brings you closer to your goal.

Yake care and be nice to yourself.

Written by Mumof2, 30. Jul 2008 11:19 AM

Spazny

It is hard to make friends when you have depression/mental illness as you tend to push your friends away. Hope you can make friends and not push them away.

Go Spazny!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 30. Jul 2008 04:42 PM

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