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oops! He did It Again!

A page in the diary "AMBIVALENCE"
Written by cherry1 9. Nov 2008 02:22 AM

Went to court re: Access. Husband no longer has a lawyer. So representing himself. I called him over to chat about our sons future. He is willing to travel to pick him up and drop him back at a contact service, provided I allow our son to stay overnite.

At first I said No! then I thought about it some more. I said okay. He had visit with our son yesterday for a few hours and he was late in dropping him back at the contact service. I felt scared!

The contact lady put me in another room then she came and got me and said my husband wanted to talk to me. I said okay. He didnt really talk about much so my guess is he just wanted to see me.

He walked bubs out to my car put him in his carseat and I got in the car but b4 I closed the door he hugged me? Im thinking okay whats your game now? But in all honesty I really am over him. I feel compassion for the fact that he is a very unhappy person, who is sick with this dreaded dis-ease called Alcoholism.

I feel sad for him, that upto date, he has not, cannot mantain a relationship with just one woman in his life. I feel sorry for his new love. I know she will eventually get very hurt as he cannot stay monogomous. All Part of Alcoholism I am told by Al-Anon.

Anyway the outcome is that bubs will spend evey 2nd f/night with his father starting in two weeks. I am looking at it positively and thinking it will give me a bit of a break to go out and catch up with my friends or maybe even Date.

Haleluyah :)

Haveagreatweek Deppies

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Comments from the community:

Cherry I know you may be a little afraid in letting bub stay over night but you are showing the court that you are a reasonable person.Look at it as a small break for some special time to yourself.Did the court make final orders, and do you have to go to mediation?All you can do is just go along with him for now and enjoy your time. Am thinking of you and bubs Tc

Written by Deleted_User, 9. Nov 2008 03:14 AM

Cherry

Good on you for showing the court you can play nicely in this situation. It must be hard for you to process and accept when it actually happens but you have done the right thing - let a father have his child overnight.

Well done for making such a difficult decision.

Go Cherry!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 9. Nov 2008 05:27 AM

PS Cherry

Did the court make any other decisions about child support or is that still coming via CSA!!!

Go Cherry!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 9. Nov 2008 05:28 AM

Stay strong my friend... chat to u sonn on MSN.

(((hugs)))
TV

Written by triciavee, 9. Nov 2008 05:28 PM

U need to plan for when Christian starts w'end visits with his dad. Tho he's still young I expect him to go thru the same stuff as other kids.

When he comes home he may be sooky & clingy, or sooky & not want u coz he wants his Dad.

This's normal & to be expected.

Dont pander to him or molly coddle him as this'll only reinforce the behaviour & make him worse in the future.

Have plans in place to deal with it.

U need to have his dinner already prepared. Play with him, have dinner, a relaxing bath,

Written by Gyps, 10. Nov 2008 04:49 AM

if he's really distressed try massaging some lavender baby oil into him, watch a movie, read to him, take him for a walk etc.

Try to have a routine from his first visit & stick to it like glue to make the transition from being with Dad to being with u as smooth as possible.

In time he may kick up a fuss to go with Dad, or kick up a fuss when he's dropped off.

Again, this is normal.

Keep the changeovers as short & smooth as possible & try not to be hanging around for ages chatting.

Written by Gyps, 10. Nov 2008 04:51 AM

Communicate by phone if need be.

DONT be a bitch, send ample clothes & 4 nappies with him, this allows for changes in the car if need be.

Its reasonable that his Dad also buys nappies, just make sure your getting ALL Christians clothes back each visit. If u dont, tell Dad either he returns them or u'll no longer supply them.

INSIST Christian sleeps in his own bed at Dads or he'll be a shit at your place!

Written by Gyps, 10. Nov 2008 04:53 AM

Make sure u communicate fully with Dad, he's NOT psychic & its a pain in the arse not gettin told stuff.

Send some toys for Christian to play with, do u have some he could keep there? Maybe send a box that u'll swap every coupla months so he's got diff toys there.

Send bottles but tell Dad he needs to buy some to keep there, & formula too.

Let him know Christians likes & dislikes food wise, & what his routine is- bed, sleep, play etc.

Written by Gyps, 10. Nov 2008 04:55 AM

It'd help to organise all this before hand, maybe work it all out then call his Dad to talk about it, but follow it up in an email coz it'll be a lot of info for him to remember all at once!

Dad also needs crockery for Christian, cups, cutlery, extra bedding & he needs to organise a bed- do u have a portable cot for now?

Lots of stuff for u to think about & organise.

Written by Gyps, 10. Nov 2008 04:57 AM

Sorry if this's come across abit heavy, its just my ex & I were on the receiving end of his ex bein a bitch & suddenly not providing clothes or communicating important stuff to us.

Dont make that mistake or Christian will grow up to resent u.

If I can help with anything else just let me know.

Take care hun & give Christian a big hug for me.
xxx

Written by Gyps, 10. Nov 2008 04:59 AM

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