tick tock
A page in the diary ""
Written by zombieluv 26. Mar 2008 03:20 AM
i can feel my mind slowly winding down. the last few days have been exhausting. i havent stopped thinking and its doing my head in. im so tired of it. anyway. i feel kind of peaceful now. today was another wasted day. locked in my room. listening to music. reading about random crap. im starting to feel concerned. but otherwise it was not what id call a bad day.
i desperately need to see a doctor. but i just have to wait because i live in a rural area. gah. its been three weeks and still no appointment made yet. i dont understand what im supposed to do in the meantimes. i cant go back to the gp because he is a maniac.
sleeeeeppppppppppp. sleeeeppp. sleep. i am going to go to sleep soon i can feel it. i hope i have one of those crazy adventure type dreams.
edit: it's now 2pm the next day ive been awake for a few hours. im going to buy a set top box today! im so excited to get abc2. haha.
theres this little drama going on with my friends. friend a is a bit needy but i stay friends with her. friend b is my best friend i love her to death. but i bitched to friend a about friend b and now friend a is being crazy toward friend b and i am busy lying to both of them and being on both their sides and i can see it coming to some kind of crescendo sometime soon. i swear to god. i am so sick of these girls and all their drama. im sick of pampering their egos in an effort to keep things peaceful so that my tangled web of lies never comes unstuck. i have been doing this for years though so im pretty good at it.
thing is i like friend a, but friend b has a great deal of influence over me, and i think socially id rather be affiliated with her and ill do anything to keep that spot in my social circle. while friend a doesn't really make me want to get closer to her because i already have all the friendship i need in my life. then there's friend c, who isn't part of this social circle but knows me better than id like her to and is actually the person who knows me best out of anyone in the world, well she sometimes get caught up in the drama. and she creates it. and i never hold it against her, so i suppose thats what i should do with the other 2. i have no idea what im doing right now. i should just forget about it and go with the flow because i have nothing to lose. friend b and i are unbreakable and friend a will have to deal with that. it is insane the amount of jealousy that flies about in female friendship circles. i thought it was just gonna be high school but it hasnt stopped yet. its been fun to observe.
did you know bees communicate on a quantum level?