So so low, flat , drained, anxious, grumpy
A page in the diary "One instant at a time"
Written by psyche 12. Jul 2007 10:29 PM
Hi all,
Have had a crap day. Started off ok, then I chaecked my email and got one from Peter that was a really good email but also said that he couldn't keep reassuring me, it wasn't healthy for either of us....So I got really really hurt - All I want is for him to tell me when he emails me if he's still falling in love with me or not...how is that bad or damaging? For either of us?
So I've spent all day crying and messy. And grumpy which I never get. Plus my skin is a mess. Sigh. Hoping it's just PMT.
So I'm scared he'll hate me cause of the 9 replies I sent (many of them one liners) - I just love him, I love him and I hate this. He's making me wait on this thread of unknowing and I aborted a baby for this man, a baby I loved.
I'm just hurting so much and am so scared.
HATE insecurity, HATE feeling like this, HATE that there is another 8 1/4 weeks to go or even more maybe. HATE that I won't hear back from him for three days or maybe longer so I'll just be left waiting and panicing - I'm going to curl up in bed now. And cry.