Wow - I can do normal stuff????
A page in the diary "One instant at a time"
Written by psyche 28. Jun 2007 01:08 AM
Whats going on? I did some normal stuff today....I sent off a very late essay for Uni, I met one of my daughters friends Mum for coffee (major challange as am chronically shy and now think she hates me but it was lovely at the time, there's paranoia and low self esteem for you :) ) Took my kids back to my ex's in the pouring rain with no umbrellas (hell) and went to my parents house for dinner - all without a panic attack!!!!!!
Whats happening - I can't do normal things? I'm depressed and anxious, I fall apart in a supermarket, yet I can do this stuff? Maybe it was just pure determination - I'm exhausted now - but i did it :) I'm actually a normal human being - this is a major realisation for me - I'm normal, not odd, not 'overreactive', don't 'feel things to much' - I'm me and I'm normal (in the wide range that normal encompasses) Even if I don't fit in with my family, even if I am sad and scared and panic and need medication, I'm normal, my kids love me, I can hold a conversation with another adult and I can tolerate sitting with my parents for two hours or so. Wow.