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Bugger focusing on the positive, my day has sucked

A page in the diary "One instant at a time"
Written by psyche 3. Jun 2007 11:28 PM

The treatment program is telling me to focus on the positive. Sigh. The positive thing about today was that I felt like ripping arms to shreds with a razor blade and I didn't. Thats it. I'm moving away from my ex husband, getting a divorce and the love of my life is going overseas all at once and I'm not coping.
I keep crying, panic attacks, freaking out.
How do you start from the beginning again - I have 10 years worth of stuff with this man, how do I start again?
How do I live by myself when I'm already so lonely when there are people around?
The divorce needed to happen and should have years ago but is still sad - he's an abusive prick sometimes, but other times so lovely and caring and my best friend.
and Peter going away - I'm in love with him and if he finds someone else how will i cope? (I have huge trust issues)
Ok, off to plan for packing and stuff - thank god I'm seeing my psych tommorrow.
:'(
A

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Comments from the community:

That's a really incredible thing you did by not cutting yourself. I'm a cutter myself and I know how hard it is to resist. You should be proud of yourself.

As for your problem with Peter, I'm not really sure what to say, maybe you're meant to be together but maybe you're not. Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder, maybe he'll realise what he's missing by not being with you.

Written by babz, 4. Jun 2007 12:21 AM

Babz

Good for you for not self harming and making a decision about moving from your ex. Big positives but one huge negative, you love is going overseas. Ask him to contact you via email so you don't lose contact totally. Hope you get to achieve this.

Go Babz!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 4. Jun 2007 03:48 PM

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