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So so lonely

A page in the diary "One instant at a time"
Written by psyche 31. May 2007 01:17 AM

my life consists of being in bed, attempting to pick up my kids from school twice a week, seeing my psychologist once a week and doing yoga twice a week (at home), All because I'm so bloody scared and tired and lost and lonely.
I found out i got a new flat today which means I can move away from my abusive ex husband and get my kids out of this awful situation, but then what do I do?
On top of that the man I love, who has my heart, leaves in 18 days for 3 months overseas with the promise that he's falling back in love with me and he'll give us another go when he gets back ( He couldn't cope with my extreme depressive episodes and messy life which is why he broke up with me - also something about needing to be free to travel) But I of course think he will meet someone else, because I'm so unworthy, so totally unworthy. And then i get a tip today saying that clinical depression should get better in a few weeks - i've been on medication Efexor XR for 4 1/2 years - not better, still just as terrified/anxious, still just as tired and incapable of doing anything, still just as sad, so do I try a new medication? will that make me better? I'm so scared and lonely.

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Comments from the community:

Dear Psyche

I think there are heaps of triggers here that you have listed, and I don't find it at all suprising that you are feeling the way you do. I am really sorry you are feeling this way...and I just don't really know what to say - except to give you a hug, and say that you are not alone, and that you are cared for, and that I am glad you have found this site supportive.

((((((Psyche)))))))

Remember - everything passes - and you will get through - even if you don't know how, you will manage. You have got this far.

Sending you loads and loads of love

Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Deleted_User, 31. May 2007 02:57 AM

hey psyche

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

I hope that makes you feel a little better. You are not alone, remember that. I care, we care. =)

Lots of love,
WhiteDove

Written by WhiteDove, 31. May 2007 11:45 AM

Is it possible for you to join a yoga group? Frightening! yes, out of your comfort zone! yes. Then 'FORCE' yourself, centre on yourself. Changing external things helps, yes, though the cause is within 'you'. Change yourself & all else will follow, I guarantee it.

"Time is a great healer."

Written by Deleted_User, 31. May 2007 11:49 AM

Psyche

You are never alone. You have your depnet friends. It is good you can now get away from your ex. Perhaps this change will change your mood, thinking. I agree with Geo about the yoga - time to break out of that comfort zone. You will be doing that if you move into the unit so start small.

Go Psyche!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 31. May 2007 04:53 PM