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Alot of Emotions Stirring Up

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Written by chookie67 18. Jul 2008 10:31 PM

Watched a story on ABC Stateline tonight about the propsed changes to the adoption laws.
I am not really sure what to think about these.
I am adopted and couldn't have asked for more loving parents than the ones that I was blessed with. I was so close with my Dad, who passed away 18 years ago. He was the one that gave me his blessing to find my birth parents.
I never really thought much about being adopted until i had my eldest son when i was 19. I looked at him and thought how the hell could someone give their baby away. I have struggled with this for well over 23 years.
With the new laws changing, maybe i will get a chance to know my true identity. My BM has put a veto on my file that stops me from finding out any identifying information about her, my father or brothers and sisters even when she dies. The hardest thing to deal with is knowing that I have 2 siblings above me and one below me. I have always thought WHY ME.
As I said i am not really sure how I will deal with it when the changes become legal - I have waited for this for so long, but I am really scared to find out.

If you are reading this and are a mother who has adopted out a child, I hope I have not offended you.

Maybe one day my yearning to know where I come from will be able to be told.

Take care
Lynne

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Comments from the community:

Dear Lynne,

I got a huge lump in my throat as I read your entry. ((hugs)))

I hope one day that you will find the answers you are searching for.

In the meantime, perhaps not dwell on the fact that your biological mother gave you up for adoption as opposed to your siblings. She may have loved you the most out of all of her children - perhaps she wanted you to have a better life. I dunno sweety - it's a very hard situation for you to deal with. I wish you all the best.

Wishing you well
Dolly x

Written by Deleted_User, 18. Jul 2008 11:58 PM

Chookie,

I can understand how youre feeling with this. My Mum gave my younger sister away, but never had any blocks on her finding Mum. Mum played up in the marriage and No one would help her back in the early 60s , so she gave her up for adoption.
Mum never forgot about her though, and we did find her years ago. Funny part is, she lived so close to us all her life. Youre a wonderful woman Hun, have no doubts about this.Its her loss if she doesnt want to know the beautiful daughter she gave away. Our gain as youre part of our family too.Love ya Sis((((((Chook))))))).
I understand how you feel about not giving one of our away, I couldnt either. Just remember things were so different back then for them. We love you,and so does everyone whos heart you have touched.
Take care.
Love Lesleyxxxxx

Written by lesleyk, 19. Jul 2008 06:20 AM

Hey friend, thinking of you. Peter

Written by surfer, 19. Jul 2008 10:58 AM

Dear Lynne

I understand how much you have struggled with this. It also goes beyond wanting to know why. There is a part of you that has felt abandoned even though you were a very much loved and wanted child.

I have been lucky enough to meet my birth parents and have been able to work through some of the feelings of "not belonging" or "fitting in" anywhere. Since then my birth father chose to cease contact with me and my birth mother seems to only bother when it suits her and that isn't very often.

I now feel abadoned and rejected all over again by them however I am thankful I had the opportunity to meet them and get at least one photo of each of them. I honestly hope that one day you will be able to do the same.

Take care ((((((((((Lynne))))))))))

Jenny xxx

Written by lifesucks, 19. Jul 2008 04:03 PM

Lynne,

all I can say is I am thinking of you in this time, the triggering programme must have been difficult and so many memories.

There are reasons, always reasons for such acts but perhaps they will or wont make sense.

As Peter (surfer) said to me once, just to think out of all the millions of sperms and all the eggs that things came together to produce us, all the other sperms and eggs missed out, in fact it is miraculous, he would not use that word, we have even had a life. We are lucky to have had a life at all. Hope this makes sense.

Hugs Lynne in this tough time

Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 19. Jul 2008 06:27 PM

Lynne

I don't want to upset you in any way and if this does, delete it.

There was in the paper last Saturday 26/7/08, the qld government was seeking people's opinions on the proposed changes to child adoption laws within Qld. I think the contact was child servives but I can't be sure as I wasn't able to tell you when I saw it and I have just remembered it.

If you are interested and don't know about it go to qld.gov.au and have a look under child services or there may be a link to the feedback that the government is seeking.

I hope you can make a positive contribution to the feedback. When I read your diary, I was crying because your birth mother has blocked chances to know about your health, meet you and get to know her grandchildren. Her choice but it must be hard on you, hubby and the boys.

Go Chook!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 26. Jul 2008 11:35 PM

PS Chook

I think it was in the Courier Mail of 19/7/08 or the Sunday Mail of 20/7/08 - fairly sure it was the Saturday paper. Can't say to you I understand your feelings because I can't as I wasn't adopted but I hope you can have some input into the changes which are good for the parents and children they have given up.

Go Chook!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 27. Jul 2008 06:54 AM

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