About depression Help with depression Help for relatives Society DepNet Community My Depression

Read diary

Poor me!

A page in the diary "Good mourning!"
Written by Luise 10. Nov 2007 08:58 AM

First of all:
Thank you for all these comforting comments to my last entry. I am glad to know you all, and I feel really understood. This is a wonderful feeling. You all can mark the "useful and needed" point in the next deptest. Thank you!!!!!


This night I dreamed of going to bed early, with a good book, and sleep early. I am sooooooo tired after lots of work. I had a loose appointment with a friend to visit a concert i a pub, but I felt more like seeing her for a coffee and going home after. She was disappointed, but we met anyway and had a nice time downtown in the bookstore cafe. Then she asked if we coulnd't at least have dinner together, but I was soooo tired and said no.

And she accused me: "You are so boring, you never go out with me, you are always tired – it's just your depression, I should have known it, I will never ask you again to go out with me...see you...somewhere along the way." And she climbed on her bicycle and departed. It cold even be possible that she had tears in her eyes.

And there I stood, shaking my head, not knowing what to feel. I just hate the feeling of being abandoned. I hate the feeling of being not good enough. I know more or less that I haven't really done anything wrong – she's a very sensitive person, very easy to irritate.

But still...I am very damageable, especially when I'm criticised or when somebody doesn't talk clear. Always doubting about myself. Am I a poor friend? Am I selfish ? Do I always think about myself first? Do I ignore the needs of others?

Anyway, instead of having a calm night with my book I have a teary night. I feel sad and guilty, but also mad at her. She could have accepted that I'm just tired after weeks of work, even without weekends. Instead she said: "You know, I worked the whole week, too." Yeah. We are just so different.

She is an active, extroverted person. She likes to go out.

I have nothing against people, but after a certain amount in public I need time for myself. Maybe this is special, but I need these quiet times to feel well. I don't want to be judged because of this.

And it is not "my depression" that makes me want to stay home. When I feel depressed I don't feel like anything. But I do feel like...going to bed early, with a good book.

And then again I doubt everything: Am I creating an excuse to avoid visiting the pub? Is the real reason some secret fear? But what would I fear except being bored by a band I don't know instead of reading a good book? But everybody likes to go out – why am I so different? What's wrong with me? I should like to go out like everybody. I should be like everybody...

I'm tired. And there is still this canadian in my head and heart, who also left me, who also found I wasn't good enough for him. Booo-hoooooo. Poor me.

Night all, and sorry for the rant.

Love,
Luise.

« Prev page | Next page »
 

Comments from the community:

Hey kid

You are actually pretty good.

Peter

Written by surfer, 10. Nov 2007 10:18 AM

Dear Luise,
Oh honey - HUGS - not everybody likes to go out - I certainly don't all the time, and thats not my depression, thats me, thats normal.
Of course you are going to have nights when you are exhausted and just need to crash - you think about others so much - you can see this in your post..
Big Hugs
A

Written by winterrain, 10. Nov 2007 02:39 PM

Luise

You don't have to go out with your friends if that is not your scene. It was never my scene when I was well and is even more so now. Home is cosy even with my phobias. Keep in touch with your friend and don't take what she said personally. She doesn't understand depression to say that and you know yourself if you were up for the pub or not.

Hun, you will get through this and try and explain it to your friend. Hopefully you can make her understand your feelings and how her actions upset you.

Go Luise!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 10. Nov 2007 04:07 PM

I'm with the others - not everyone likes to go out to pubs and/or clubs. I certainly don't, and it has nothing to do with how much I like my friends - I would be perfectly happy going to a movie or out for coffee with them.

I know people get grumpy at me not wanting to do things, and I think that my illnesses have just become a scapegoat for them. Don't take it to heart, your friend may just be having a bad day/week/month and it has no bearing on you as a person. You're a good person, you really are :) Sending you a hug

Written by babz, 10. Nov 2007 08:20 PM

Hello Luise
I feel similar to you...I know it is the depression that stops me from wanting to meet up with freinds. I always try to come up with an excuse to not go out. If I do venture out (rarely) all I can think about is going home to my little dog. Even at my family events! I need to be in my comfort zone right now. You are not alone. The Canadian is still very fresh in your mind, as is Adrian's horrible treatment of me so clear in my mind. It is something we will not get over for a long time.
Some day we will enjoy socialising again but meanwhile try not to feel too bad. It is not our fault!
Best wishes
Cheyne

Written by hippiechick, 11. Nov 2007 12:00 AM

Dear Luise

To be honest I think your friend was pretty hard on you. You are good enough. I completely understand not wanting to go to the pub. If your friend hadn't have been in the mood to go to listen to a concert in the pub you would have understood, I'm sure.

I suspect there is something else going on with her that has nothing to do with you.

Please try not to take it personally....and if it's any consolation I have often thought that I wish you lived closer to me so we could catch up as I reckon we'd get on pretty well as friends.

Lots of love to you

Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Wolveress, 11. Nov 2007 01:08 AM