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Stressful time

A page in the diary "Good mourning!"
Written by Luise 28. Oct 2007 08:09 AM

Hi diary and everybody,

I'm doing good, but I'm having a stressful time at the moment. I have to create a test piece for a company in spain where I have applied for a job - it is exciting to see my life in motion again - but I'm suffering from stage fright, I am on the verge of a blackout - usually I'm a brilliant writer, but for the test task I find it hard to find the right words. I am blocked and nervous because I WANT THIS JOB and it's getting more and more important and the task looks bigger and bigger and the time gets shorter and shorter. I have only tomorrow and monday left because tuesday I attend the creative writing class in Berlin, 200 km from here.

I'm a bit stressed out with all these things - my apartment is a mess, my cat runs after me with a neverending MEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW asking me to play with him, I am tired and wake up with headaches and have nightmares and still a crying spell every day because of my canadian - I even wrote to him and his parents today and regreted the email to him immediately after pressing the "send" button. He's still in my head and seems to need my attention - the mourning part of myself needs my attention, but I HAVE NO TIME!!!

From tomorrow on I will work on my test task with all my concentration and I'm sure there are some nightshifts waiting for me.

I'm ok. It's just the normal madness of my life. For someone who was suffering from severe depression not long ago I'm dealing really good with all these challenges.

Anyway - any encouragement is appreciated. Cross your fingers. Wish me luck. Think of me. Pray. Just two days of work left. Encourage me to do my best. Help me to hang in there. I want this job. I promise a postcard from spain for everyone here if I get the job.

Thank you.

Love,
Luise.

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Comments from the community:

Dear Luise,
Ok, this always helps me - if you are still blocked - just write random words, or do stream of conciousness writing - but then again, I suppose we do two different kinds of writing :)
GOOD GOOD LUCK and I really hope it's going well. I know what it's like to want something that badly. I've got an audition in a week and I too am frozen with fear about preparing my monologues, just becuase I want to do this course SO badly.
Hugs hon
A

Written by winterrain, 28. Oct 2007 02:55 PM

Luise

Don't pressure yourself with the test. Get it done when you don't have writer's block. You will get it done.

Sorry you sent the email to your Candian. I hope you are okay with it and can cope with any response that may come back.

Have a break and play with your mmmmeeeooowwwing friend - it might help your mind/writer's block.

Go Luise!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 28. Oct 2007 04:24 PM

Hey Luise

I wish you the best of luck with creating your test piece. Stage fright is awful. I hope that you will reach a point where your inspiration and determination and will overcomes your anxiety and you produce something good. I hope you are remembering to breath deeply and slowly.

I am sorry you are still suffering so much about your Canadian...it is a horrible feeling when you regret pressing the 'send' button....I used to do things like that quite often with the help of a bottle of wine and then wake up the next morning and check my sent messages and feel awful.

I hope that you are doing ok, and I wish you the best of luck with your test piece. Spain sounds good!

Lots of love and luck

Kimberly
xoxo

Written by Wolveress, 29. Oct 2007 04:21 AM

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