Racoon hunt
A page in the diary "Good mourning!"
Written by Luise 26. Jul 2007 08:05 AM
Hi diary and everybody out there,
the highlight of the day: I went to the park (which is pretty close to be called "forest") and sat on a bench under the trees writing, as an animal sneaked along! Not a cat, not a dog, not a deer, not a bambi, not a rabbit, not a turtle, not a giraffe, not a marten, not a wild pig, not a leopard...it was a racooooooooon!!!!!!
I didn't know we have racoons in Germany, and I never have seen one in real, not even in my beloved zoo. So these animals are quite exotic for me. I even asked my canadian at that time to show me a real canadian racoon (aside from moose and skunks) as we don't have them in germany. Thought I.
I just let all my stuff at the bench and followed the racoon, armed with my camera phone to shoot a proof, cross-country through the underbrush - what the hell is this animal, I thought? Looks like a fat brown cat with a long striped tail and a peaked nose. Can't be a racoon, I thought - we don't have them here, or do we? Maybe it's an anteater? (we haven't them either.)
Anyway, I stumbled through the shrubbery, hunting the racoon with my cell phone. He (A discreet glance at certain body parts told me that it was a HIM) was pretty gentle - he let me approach until the distance of a meter. Then he looked at me, showed his teeth smiling and bounced away, some meters forward. I never cought up completely, but I had some close looks in his cute face!
Following this animal I forgot about myself - I enjoyed so much crawling through the forest, looking at a wild animal that I never had seen before. It was like a godsent little delight, just for me.
Today I have started taking an antidepressant - Zoloft. Until now the only side effect I have is being scared shitless of side effects. Aside from this I had a good day. I have planned a strict self-pampering program to create a balance to the meds:
- get as much fresh air as I can
- eat well and exercise almost every day
- meet friends
- fill my day with pleasant activities
- do the CBT homework every day.
- do my best at work with the most possible pleasure.
- do something to relax (yoga)
- go for a walk if I feel anxious.
This morning I hypnotized the first pill for half an hour before I took it. Reason for my fear is one very bad (and thank god short) experience with another SSRI two years ago. But with my "healthy living plan" and with all I know now, with the CBT techniques and with the spark of hope I dont lose, I will cope. And maybe, if I'm lucky, nothing happens - except that I feel better.
Cross your fingers!!!!!
(Please no comments about terrible side effects. It would drive me nuts.)
Love to you all. I have been thinking of you and I'm feeling with you even if I haven't been so present on depnet for the last few weeks, and even though I don't always write comments.
Luise