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To all the women - discover your wild side.

A page in the diary "Good mourning!"
Written by Luise 13. Jun 2007 03:56 AM

Some of us believe that we have to be this and that to be happy.

Some of us believe that we have to be loved by others to be a worthwile person.

Some of us believe that we have to change ourselves to be loved.

Some of us believe that we have to be beautiful, skinny, happy, funny, successful.

Or we believe that we have to be a caring person, a good mother, a good wife, a good girlfriend, a good daughter, a good grandmother.

In relationships we believe that we have to know our partners wishes before they know them. We believe we have to do the first step. We believe we are responsible for keeping the relationship alive. If we are treated lovelessly, we blame ourselves. We believe that we have to try better to deserve better treatment. We always try to get better. We are never good enough.

We dream about the time when we are a better person: More beautiful, skinny, hairless, with prettier clothes and shoes which are not made for walking, or smarter, more intelligent, we try to stop telling dirty jokes because it's not girlish enough. Swearing is great fun, but girls don't do that. And they never fart. Before they say something wrong, they better keep their mouth shut. A good girl is shy and quiet.

We manage to get still a little bit more adapted to the wishes of whoever - no matter if it's our parents or our friends or our partner. We always try to adapt. It's our great talent. We are so good in adapting that we about our own wishes.

Wouldn't it be great to know who we are when we forget about what others think about us?

Lean back and relax, girls. Here are good news for you:

We don't need to be beautiful to enjoy ourselves!

We don't need to be beautiful to enjoy reading a good book.

We don't need to be skinny to unfold our creative talents.

We don't have to wear the most pretty clothes to do our best in a job or project we really like.

We don't need to be the most loveable person in the world to sit at the open window and enjoy the smell of the rain.

We don't need to be someones else to prepare and enjoy a wonderful meal just for ourselves.

If someone doesn't love us as we are, he simply doesn't love us, but it doesn't matter! It is not our mistake. It's his!

If we don't fit into society, it's not us who is wrong. It's society - full of cruel, stupid, oppressing rules for women - and even for men.

Everyone of us is beautiful and perfect. It's our strength that makes us beautiful. Please don't let anyone make yourself weak. Protect yourselves from abusive boyfriends and mothers who must be obeyed. It's your life. Everyone of us has special talents inside - just waiting to be unfolded. Everyone has a complete wonderful life story inside. I see it. Today I see all the possibilities. For all of us.

At the moment I'm reading a book about "wild women". It is called "Women who run with the wolves" (Myths and stories of the wild woman archetype) by Clarissa Pinkola-Estes. Until now I find it inspiring. The friend who recommended it to me is a normal woman - with the difference that she doesn't care for rules about how a woman should be. She has a mustache and she never shaves her legs or armpits. She's a gardener on an organic farm. She comes from work with her old bicycle, with a dirty shirt, a silly sun shade and a pleased smile. She never cares if she's cool. She just does what's right for her.

What this entry means for me is something you probably can't just experience by reading. You have to discover it by yourself. You have to feel the power of your wild side - of what's inside you when you - just for a moment - stop to live for other persons. Forget all the rules you have ever heard and live for yourself. Just for a day. Try what you can enjoy when you accept yourself as what you are, uncaged from all the rules and wishes that don't belong to you:

A woman, full of special powers. You.

Love,
Luise

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Comments from the community:

Hey Luise

I LOVED this diary entry!! See - you have so much passion - that there is no doubt you are going to be alright!!

My Mum read this book when it was first published, and she gave me a copy. I, who didn't respect myself, others, or things, at that time didn't look after the book, wasn't in a mental place to read it, and lent it to someone and never followed it up to get it back. It is something I regret, as I now recognise my Mum gave it to me with love, and my total mistrust and defensiveness towards her for so many years of my life wasn't warranted.

Fortunately - the rifts between my Mum and I are healing well, and I believe our relationship has entered a new dimension. Since I have lost my anger/pain etc towards my Mum, I have had the urge to read the book - so I will find a way to get hold of another copy - and I will think of you also!

At the time my Mum was reading the book, our family was in turmoil and my brother and I gave my Mum a labrador puppy as a companion. She called the puppy Nina, from a character in the book. She never explained why - but when I read the book I will find out. Have you come across 'Nina' in the book? Nina the puppy is now a happy, full grown, middle-aged labrador who I haven't seen for a long time - but am looking forward to having a big cuddle with when I return to Aus for a holiday.

Sending you love and warmth. It is so great to see you inspired.

Kimberly
xoxo



Written by Deleted_User, 13. Jun 2007 06:51 AM

Luise,

I think the men can learn something from this as well. Some of these things are traps men also fall into. Others aren't far off--you just need to put a male spin on it.

HD

Written by hounddog, 13. Jun 2007 08:04 AM

Dear Luise,
That was beautifull. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Love & Support Always,
Valerie x0x

Written by Deleted_User, 13. Jun 2007 09:54 AM

The male one (for Hounddog)

* We don't need to be sober to enjoy cricket, rather we can be as drunk as we like

* We don't need to take our time during foreplay, as it's cutting into "our" time

* We don't have to be fastidious when aiming at a toilet bowl, for it will clean itself somehow

* We don't need to leave the room or be discrete to burp. Rather, we can let rip before asking for a high-five from whoever is present

* We don't need to keep our tedious & insignificant sports stories to ourselves. Rather, we should tell all and sundry whilst exaggerating the details with every telling of said stories.

* We don't need to ask for directions. Rather, if we keep driving we're sure to find where we're going

* We don't need to leave the room or be discrete to pass wind. Rather, we can let rip before asking for a high-five from whoever is present

;^)

Written by Deleted_User, 13. Jun 2007 11:24 AM

Mr Bungle - you smartarse...it's got to be LD whose metamorphised out of Furi muf or Fur immer :)

Maybe...when a man discovers his wild side ... he loses his fear of getting in touch with HIS emotions....? :)

Written by Deleted_User, 13. Jun 2007 01:34 PM

Luise

That diary was so inspirational it was amazing. We women need to learn to be less harsh on ourselfs and be ourselves. Thanks for the inspiring entry.

Go Luise!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 13. Jun 2007 05:10 PM