I'm sad. Can anybody help?
A page in the diary "Good mourning!"
Written by Luise 16. May 2007 08:11 AM
Hi diary and everybody out there,
it's so easy to make me sad. Karin, one of my best friends has been retreating more and more over the last month. She didn't have much time for me. Usually we have always found an opportunity to spent time together without making an appointment, we just dropped in on eachother for a coffee or something. Since a while I feel as if it's me who always "needs" her and it's always too much for her. Today she cancelled an appointment and spoke on my answering machine that she has problems with her boyfriend (they live together and have a baby) and they will take some time just for themselves, without any people around.
I know it's not about me. It's about their problems and I know that she still likes me. But I still feel abandoned. Must be some childhood thing. Maybe my mother forgot me at the bus station one day. Shit, I'm just sad. She said they would try to keep their house free of people for some time, but I haven't been there so often in the last times, as I didn't want to go on their nerves. She's not my only friend on the world, but she's the one I like most. And I just hate when I lose someone without being able to do anything!!!
And the result: I desperately want to call canada and have a good cry on his shoulder. I just want to be loved. At least a little bit. Just by anyone.
I never thought I would write such an entry one day. I always wanted to keep this diary as a place where I work on my recovery. But this time I just wanted to tell somebody I'm sad.
Sorry.
Luise.