About depression Help with depression Help for relatives Society DepNet Community My Depression

Read diary

Falling Apart.....bit by bit

A page in the diary "Prison of pain and loneliness"
Written by lynda 25. Jul 2008 11:12 AM

I`m wondering `what does my future hold for me`?

My friends have all gone. Don`t contact me anymore, even those from here.

My self esteem is free falling to new lows. I`ve also found myself withdrawing and NOT wanting contact with anyone even more recently. I`ve been hiding away behin close doors.

This morning I`ve been analysing my life. Thinking of what has happened to me in the past.

At the age of just 2. I was behind a car in which I remember my dad reversing over me. Luckily the wheels passed either side of me and I escaped without harm.

At the age of 8 or 9, my mother thought she would `cool me off`, by shoving me in the pool, holding me under, pulling me up and then shoving me back under once again. I remember thinking, `I`m gonna drown here`.

Then at the age of 19, my mother in-law to be, sadly passed away in hospital at the age of just 42. This really made me think about what I wanted in life.

At the age of 27, my grandmother was diagnosed with stomach cancer and over the next 6 months we watched as she gave up and wasted away to nothing. With us doing everything we could to make sure she was comfortable. She passed away just 2 days before her 72nd birthday. Her last words to me were `you nearly killed me`,cause I once went there when I had a cold and she got sick. To this day those words still haunt me. I lost 3 people in 3 days that weekend.

At the age of 28, I injured my wrist in an accident at work. After years and multiple surgeries(including a wrist fusion) I still have troubles with it.

As I sit here writing this the tears are streaming down my face.

The point is, `What do I want from life and what is stopping me from getting it`?

It is myself that is stopping me from getting anything from this life.
It is myself that won`t let me go anywhere in life.
It is myself that can`t deal with problems in life.
It is myself that don`t know what the future holds.

It is my fault that I can`t move on to a better future.
It is me that is to afraid to let go of this dark and gloomy life for a better one.

Basically, I am afraid of what my future holds if I can`t get better at this depression stuff.


« Prev page | Next page »
 

Comments from the community:

Hi Lynda,

I know where you are at just now. Once we start making that list of things that have happened to us or we have observed or felt it is easy to loose hope. Hope for a future where those thoughts dont consume us all the time.

Lynda currently I too am strggling with what my future life holds and have been reading lots on acceptance. Accepting where we are now is a sum of all the things that have brought us here, our emotions, our mishaps injuries etc and for my physical disabilities. And on top of all that there is depression. Can we acept being depressed as well?

Lynda I have been attending a DBT course and these are issues raised by everyone there.

Yesterday was pretty profound for me and I will cut and paste some notes below which inspired me and opened my mind a little.

Take extra care of yourself today, you need to to keep going.

All my very best and here are the notes:

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE


•Freedom from suffering requires ACCEPTANCE from deep within of what is. Let yourself go completely with what is. Let go of fighting reality.

•ACCEPTANCE is the only way out of hell

•Pain creates suffering only when you refer to ACCEPT the pain.

•Deciding to tolerate the moment what is

•To ACCEPT something is not the same as judging it good


TURNING THE MIND


•Acceptance of reality as it is requires an act of CHOICE. It is like coming to a fork in the road. You have to turn your mind towards the acceptance road and away from the “rejecting reality” road.

•You have to make an inner COMMITMENT to accept.

•The COMMITMENT to accept does not itself equal acceptance. It just turns you toward the path. But it is the first step.

•You have to turn your mind and commit to acceptance OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Sometimes you have to make the commitment many times in the space of a few minutes.

From Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan. c 1993 The Guilford Press


Hope some of it helps, take care, Liz

Written by keller, 25. Jul 2008 11:47 AM

Hi Lynda

At the risk of sounding harsh - you need to stop living in the past and thinking about it constantly. I know it's hard - we all do it, but it's absolutely pointless and only causes pain and confusion.

I agree with Kellers entry - DBT is the way to go. I have just started a course as well and have learnt so much.

May I offer some guidance - When you find yourself consumed with thoughts from your past - tell yourself STOP in your head and picture a big, red stop sign! Try it hun - it might just help and practice makes perfect.

Don't give up - we are all here for you.

Love Dolly x

Written by Deleted_User, 25. Jul 2008 12:04 PM

Lynda

You have to let the future take its trip with you and stop revisiting the past as it upsets you too much. Look towards the future as a way of getting well, having a better life and a good relationship with kids and hubby.

Go Lynda!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 25. Jul 2008 05:24 PM

lynda

I think everyone here on depnet at some point have pushed their friends away, and end up feeling they have none. I am sure you still do have friends here on depnet, maybe they just are going through a tuff time themselves.
I think you are being abit hard on yourself atm. You have written a list out, now see if you can work on that list and turn it around, just remember take one step at a time (baby steps)

Take care

Mikey xxx

Written by Mikey, 25. Jul 2008 07:14 PM