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Hope people understand - suicide and self harm mentioned. Updated

A page in the diary "She who must be obeyed thinks she is always right!!!"
Written by studying1 29. May 2008 08:51 AM

Mention of self harm and suicide in this diary - don't read if sceamy.

It seems some deppies don't understand hubby and I. Hubby does 2 shifts taxi driving a week and one day volunteer work and I am on orders from my psychiatrist that I am not well enough to return to work/try work or uni becaue of mental illnesses and my chronic migraines. So that is the story of the studyings!!! I have four or 5 mental illnesses, that the psychiatrist is trying to treat. I have to discuss further with him about the change of a/d. I am scared because it took us so long to get me to where I am coping to the best of my ability with the luvox and now he wants to change the a/d to a new one to see if it is better for me. He won't do it until I am admitted to hospital so that won't be for a couple of months. The Panafen plus has been changed to a brufen and a panfen plus and will get me onto two brufen 3 times a day - like it used to be - got to watch for codeine withdrawal symptoms. I know my psychiatrist is doing what is best for me but I am just scared given the number of a/d we have tried before luvox worked. I want work done on the sleeping meds but he is not gong to do that until I have had my sleep study next Tuesday night to rule out aponea.

Migraine, meds and hopefully some sleep. The meds haven't kicked in so I came and read my emails and depnet comments/diaries. I have had breakfast when I had my migraine meds.

Gyps, thanks for your entries. I have reread all my diaries since the wedding and yes you are right, I did mention harming while I was with hubby/change my harming to different harming when he told me to stop. Self harming is part of my illness and has been with me for all my working life. The reason I didn't stay around when hubby had his blood test done is I faint at the sight of blood so it was better for me to be out of the room and not on the floor when the doctor took the blood. I am not good with blood tests and have to lie down for my own because I faint in the chair otherwise.

Sadface, I tried to help hubby this morning when he got up at 4 am to get ready to go to his memorial day. He came home last night and was not his quiet self and I really thought someone had broken in but it was him when I found him. Sadface, this is his work and I don't want to take his work and pride for what he does away from him so I don't go to the memorial days. For one suffering mental illness and has thoughts of suicide, it is not a good place to be. I think about the day during the day and hope he is having a good day and people are receptive to the White Wreath Association, Action Against Suicide and help them with donations.

Gyps - The topics you don't want me to talk about may be discussed from time to time. At the moment I need to get them off my chest because they are distressing me and hubby doesn't like to see me doing them. I have tried stopping but find it hard to do - like a smoker, I am addicted to the rush I get from them. I will try to limit how much I mention them in my diary and warn readers but when there is a need to discuss them, I need to do it. I know my life at the moment is in a rut again and that is why I want to go to Tasmania in July and see how we cope in the cold and Hubby wants to go to the coast for a week asap - his timeshare runs out in June. It is weeks like this week when I don't have any appointments and hubby doesn't go out in the afternoons that I am bored and a danger to us, in regards to the actions I do when I am with hubby.

I hope this all makes some sense to people and you better understand why I cannot work - psychiatrist won't give me a clearance to work or study and hubby is the income earner for us and we would be up shite creek if anything happened to him while he was working. I know he takes his life in his hands those two nights he works and I appreciate him doing it but sometimes I get concerned about him when you hear of taxi drivers being attacked.

Doona days I know are not a good thing but when you wake up so many times during the night/have a chinese bladder and you need to pee everytime you are awake and end up having only about 3 hours sleep in total, doona days are needed. I know as you said Sadface, I should be helping hubby out with the cleaning up and I do, I wash, do the dishwasher, vacumn, clean the bathroom and the toilets. I let him sleep when he is working.

Must have fallen asleep last night as I was tired from my meds but I was awake at 1.45, 3.15 and 4 am. Also doesn't help when hubby pulls all the blankets off you and you end up freezing cold.

I spoke to my psychiatrist about the suicide of the channel 10 newsreporter on Australian Story when I saw him last week. He said you need to have 6 fish oil tablets a day to help you and he doesn't have a problem if I try them. Thing is they are so big to swallow I know I won't get them down.

Take Care All!!!

Mrs Studying1

PS Gyps, I do realise there are a lot of young people now in depnet but I am having a problem with them mentioning harming and me mentioning harming. I am not saying where I do it in regards to my body but I do know I mention it gives me a thrill. As for Maple and fainting with the blood test, that is true for me and others I see who give blood. SH only gives me a small amount of blood, if any and some pain. That is what I enjoy from it the pain and if I am told by the moderators to stop referencing my diaries about sh I will start reporting the young people because they are in breach of the ettitquette as well. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I try not to mention sh in every diary and I think that is true - there is no mention in every diary and I don't like the fact I have had to justify my existence in depnet. What with the rogue and the court case which is still to be settled - get my money, I am still under stress that no one can understand, not even hubby. He tries which is good of him but he doesn't get it all and I don't get it all myself. I want to get better and the change in a/d will probably do it - just scared to go through all the problems I have experienced with the other a/d to try one when I feel I am coping ok with the a/d I am on.

I didn't realise this diary was going to get so many reads and comments/controversary. I don't want to cause problems with old/new deppies so if I am left alone, I will leave others alone, unless you are a rogue. I do mentiion my sh for me to question why I am doing it/what it is bringing me but obviously that is not coming through in my diaries. If I mention sh again, I will be questioning the benefit to me like babz did. I don't mean it to be representing a thrill/excitement. It is not that at all. It is a serious illness and needs serious treatment and the psychiatrist and psychologist are both trying to work on my harming. The psychiatrist has defined it as a narisstic personality and ocd personality.

Take Care All!!!

Mrs Studying1

PS I read the etiquette that I am supposed to have broken and I don't see anywhere in there about the thrill/rush from self harming. It says don't write about ways you self harm. I have not done that in any of my diaries and if Gyps you can find that then I will change the way I write about harming. Still seems a double standard for people in here and star is right, we have all breached the etitquette at one time or another so stop being high and mighty. As you say, you don't read all the diaries and if there is mention of self harm in my diaries, don't read it if it offends you because I can't see it breaching etitequette. Perhaps the moderators can decide this one.

Take Care All!!!

Mrs Studying1

Changing topic - Does anyone know if Mickm's wife has heard from him. Her diary entry has been deleted and I am very worried about her given what was in the diary entry???

Take Care All!!!

Mrs Studying1

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Comments from the community:

Hi Mrs Studying,

I'm sorry you feel you have to explain yourself. I just want you to know that I think you are a courageous woman and you should go with with your psych is telling you to do at the moment.

Love and light,

Karen xxx

Written by fly, 29. May 2008 10:14 AM




Study.

Please don't feel that you have to explain yourself to ANY of us. There are all different kinds of problems that make us individual and you are no different to anyone else.
We all have a place here and feel free to express yourself in whatever manner it takes to help.

Take care and lots lof love.
Love Lesley xxxxxxxxxxxx

GO MRS STUDYING1 !!!!!!!!!!!

Written by lesleyk, 29. May 2008 10:31 AM

Hi Mrs Studying,

I don't want to put words in Gyps' mouth, but the way I interpreted what she was saying is a little different to how you interpreted it.

It isn't concerning that you are talking about self harming, it is the way you say it. It sounds as though self harming is becoming just an everyday activity in your life...just like having a coffee at 10am everyday.

I am not sure how much your self harming is actually working for you, because in the end, you still feel just as crap - if not worse.

I am not a self harmer but I have a close friend who used to be. What her psychologist suggested was having an elastic band around her wrist. Everytime she felt like harming, she would flick herself.

Guess what? It worked for her! She hasn't self harmed for 3 years. Surely it is worth trying, and persisting with it for awhile.

I am concerned too about your behaviour, and it seems as though your behaviour hasn't changed much in the last few weeks/months.

Maybe change up your routine a little, because at the end of the day, you are trying to get well and medications alone won't do that. But i am pretty sure you know that!

Take care of yourself
Cheers
Spinner

Written by spinner, 29. May 2008 11:36 AM

No u dont hav 2 explain yrself 2 any1 however we've had this discussion a MILLION times & as I said Its NOT open 4 debate!
The only thing u MUST do is follow depnet ettiquette.
If u continue 2 write posts that GLORIFY selfharm-such as by writing about the

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 11:53 AM

""THRILL" u get from seeing th blood & th sense of "RELIEF" u feel" I'll merely report u once again 2 th moderators!
Vague mentions of selfharm ARE allowed however EXPLICIT details ARENT!
2 say selfharm gives u a "THRILL" can b somewhat encouraging 2 sum

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 11:58 AM

ppl & 2 say it gives u a sense of "RELIEF" can b extremely encouraging 2 a fragile, vulnerable person who's desperately searching 4 sum "relief" from th mental anguish their suffering.
In th past Uve used th excuse that u were unaware of having written in

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:01 PM

explicit details as u were heavily under th influence of meds @ th time of writing yr post, indeed as u r @ practically ALL times.
Thats merely a cop out as almost all of us here take meds & they cant b used as justification 4 poor behaviour. By all means

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:05 PM

continue 2 write yr posts & if Uve been particularly struggling & hav resorted 2 selfharm it may b mentioned but u need 2 start accepting sum responsibility 4 yr behaviour & yr ACCEPTANCE of that behaviour.
U dont hav a problem with selfharm, u c it as an

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:09 PM

accepted & given part of yr mental illness.
Thats a load of bullshit.
U do it coz its a HABIT & u simply dont hav a problem with it as u enjoy it 2 much-hence the "thrill".
As an example-& a million apologies 4 drawing u in2 this hun- but Babz's last post

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:13 PM

also mentioned selfharm.
The difference between th 2 of u is that u "glorify" selfharm whereas Babz selfharmed as a direct result of being in shock & was then immediately disgusted in her behaviour. She had such a hard time coming 2 terms with th fact she

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:16 PM

Food for thought.
For so long now you have had to exaggerate/concentrate on every symptom for your Court case that your depression encompasses your whole life and personality. Now you do have a chance at minimalising those symptoms. I don't think your husband needs or expects too many changes, he knew what he was getting when he married you and obviously it suits you both which is good and I am happy for you both.
The reason you annoy people I think are some of your statements, like fainting at the sight of blood which is patently untrue since you are a self harmer.
You could do an exercise: look at the statements you make, then determine for yourself the real truth of them, don't have to tell anyone, it's just an exercise for you. Cook your soup, it's really relaxing and easy, get a recipe, buy the stuff, and make it...No-one is looking over your shoulder anymore for signs of mental wellness, so go for it as best you can.
I know you well and I do think you could pick yourself up just one level. Your obsession with Medical matters
can lessen now too..it's no huge deal trying a new anti-depressant, especially under supervision. Also, your dependance on Medical appointments is understandable, since that has been how you have had to run things for your Court case, but you have no need of all those appointments now.
I do worry for you studying as to what project you will take up now, I suppose it is the moving house idea but I think it might be good to kick back a while, look at what you actually have and try to improve your habits a little bit now that your stress is reduced.
Hope this is not taken as critisism because that isn't what it is.....

Written by maple, 29. May 2008 12:19 PM

had selfharmed & I dont know if she's 4given herself yet.
She was sooo angry @ herself & that was so abundantly clear in her post u could feel her anguish & heartache.
Reading yr posts where u mention selfharm, yr so blazae about it & 1 can even feel yr

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:20 PM

sense of thrill!
That is wrong wrong wrong!
Uve been here such a long time Stud, there r sum old time members who'll immediately understand y Im yet again raising this issue with u & they'll also b aware of th history & how many times this's been an issue

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:23 PM

between us & y. Dont 4get Im also a selfharmer Stud....
There r also SOOO many newbies who've got no clue @ all & will think Im just attacking u coz Im a bitch.
Yeah sure Im a bitch but this isnt so much about attacking u as about getting u 2 open yr eyes

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:27 PM

2 reality.
There r SOOO many young 1's on here Stud its gettin real scary!
& its these deppies who're most vulnerable.
Least us old farts've got sum experience behind us, but th younguns r SO lost & alone in th world, they hav few friends & even less

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:32 PM

Family support. Their whole world is falling apart & their desperately seeking a way 2 ease th pain & if they c a post by sum1 such as yrself who's SO well known on here, is a long time member, very kind & caring, takes th time 2 respond 2 evry1, is full

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:35 PM

of advice & wisdom, support & understanding, is goin thru SOO much crap yet sumhow still manages 2 make it thru th day, then their gonna look @ u full of admiration & as a role model.
Their gonna wonder how u get thru each day despite all Uve got 2 endure

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:39 PM

wot with th wedding, court case, Queen B, anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, migraines, lapband, financial pressures etc etc etc & their gonna wonder how th hell yr still here!!!
Then they read yr post talkin bout selfharm & the thrill & sense of relief

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:43 PM

wot with th wedding, court case, Queen B, anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, migraines, lapband, financial pressures etc etc etc & their gonna wonder how th hell yr still here!!!
Then they read yr post talkin bout selfharm & the thrill & sense of relief

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:44 PM

u get...
But not only do they READ it, they can also FEEL it...
& mayb it might b enuf 2 convince them that selfharms th way 2 go, that it'll make them "feel better"?
Afterall, its quite apparent it makes YOU feel better...
So maybe after readin 1 of yr

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:48 PM

posts they might finally get up the courage 2 go all the way with wot they've been secretly thinkin about but havent told any1.......
& thats just plain WRONG!
Dont u GET THAT?
I cant possibly make it any more clearer than I have here with all these 60

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:53 PM

million short comments Ive done via my mobile coz my modems down.
If u get it u get it & if u dont then Im simply gonna report u from now on everytime u mention selfharm with such a carefree attitude.
My thumbs r sore now, so goodbye
xxx

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 12:56 PM

Hi :)

Wow! you got a long blaze from Gyps!

..but to be honest I do agree and I'm sure all is said in concern and wisdom. I guess this post shows us all a warning bell flashing that you are in great pain.

You seem to have fallen into a comfortable cycle of self destructive behaviour. It's ok, we are all going through it but as friends we must remind each other that it doesn't have to be this way.

Change is hard, but I have done it and though often my head is in darkness there are glimpse of light that remind me that life doesn't have to boring.

Bored people are boring...well I heard that from Dr Phil *giggle*

Also as everyone else have said, no need to explain your circumstance but it i nice to have a better understanding. I hope you realize you are an important life on this earth and together we need to help each other, pull each other up off the ground and walk this journey.

Don't give up on life. Life is crazy, unpredictable, constantly changing and I hope you realize this because I promise you there is also much joy to be experinced, I promise you this joy because I have felt it once again despite my negative thoughts convincing me I would be better off dead.

Your life is precious and we need to remind you that dwelling on the self destructive patterns only strengthens the black dog to attack us all.

Look after yourself sweeti. 'This too shall pass'

Bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 29. May 2008 01:12 PM

Mrs Studying1

I don't know what to write as I don't know the history of the self harming and what you have said in your diaries. Try to not glorify it. It is obvious from your entry you don't mention where you harm yourself and I believe that.

All I can think of is there should not be two standards in regard to self harming. I understand that there are new, young deppies but they are old enough to recognise what they are doing to themselves in regards to copying someone's diary about self harming. If it should be banned based on etiquette, then everyone should stop mentioning harming in their diaries. From what I have read, it seems a regular topic in some diaries when people are on a downer. Play fair and complain about everyone who mentions self harming than just one person who has justified their existence in depnet.

Ronda

Written by Deleted_User, 29. May 2008 05:28 PM



Hi Mrs Study.....


If you come on later tonight and have msn could you please drop in for a chat? My details are on my profile.

Thanks ,
Love Lesley

Written by lesleyk, 29. May 2008 05:36 PM

I think u sorta get it now, tho u still mentioned both th thrill & enjoyment u get from selfharm in yr PS.
THATS wot I hav always had a problem with, NOT th fact u mention it.
Tho given Uve just stated yr psych diagnosed u with a narsicisstic personality,

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 05:46 PM

its sure explains alot, especially y u just dont get it.
U dont hav 2 explain nor justify yrself, I neva asked u 2, I merely told u 2 stop glorifying selfharm.
Narsicisstic goes hand in hand with selfish...
Write yr posts, just DONT glorify selfharm!

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 05:50 PM

Mrs Studying,

I just wanted to write another post as I'm sure this barage of replies would have affected you greatly. I'm not going to comment on the issue at hand, I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you at the moment and I hope you're OK.

Love Karen xxx

Written by fly, 29. May 2008 06:54 PM

studying1,

I more meant going to the day to support him and be part of what he goes, not actually do the work. But you have said why you can not go. Just thought it might be a nice day out for you to meet some people and share experiences.

With the helping I meant cleaning and sorting out the unit as you have said it is a mess/cluttered etc and I thought what better a way than to spend the winter rainy days getting jobs like that done.

I am not commenting on the issue that is floating around as that is none of my business and I am here to offer help/support/ideas both to deppies, and to receive the same in a respectful manner.

Head up and stay strong, and if all else fails, as Gordon Ramsay says - f**k em all!!!!!!! Hope I do not get in trouble for that word now!!!! :)


Written by Deleted_User, 30. May 2008 09:08 AM