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My early morning or late night!! Update!!! Update!!!

A page in the diary "She who must be obeyed thinks she is always right!!!"
Written by studying1 28. Jun 2008 07:12 AM

Migraine, meds and sleep. Not a good start to the weekend as the headache is really bad and I have just taken my second lot of meds because I can't sleep the pain away or the pain isn't easing.

Hubby is home and won't have a shower because his feet are playing up and I don't like sleeping next to him as he smells of ciggies. But at least he is hoome and now I might be able to get some sleep - hate it when he works nights as it affects my sleeping ability - wake up even more times during the night than I usually do during the week.

I am writing this while the second lot of meds kick in. Hopefully they will last longer this time than the first one's. Cough is back and that is not helping me sleep. Find it strange it can be gone one day and back the next. May go to the doctor over the weekend or on Monday. Luckily it doesn't keep hubby awake as he has a cpap machine.

Thanks Bun for your support. I do believe that some deppies like to read what I write and others just don't read it at all. I try and read every diary, even those who I can't reply to so I know how they are doing and help if I can.

My Treatment group, my hubby and I know what is going on for me and that is the main thing and I am THROUGH JUSTIFYING this to anyone. I'm not expecting everyone to believe I cannot work/study at the moment but that is what my psychiatrist has said and will have to see how I go on my new a/d if things are better for me.

I fell for it again hook, line and sinker and Matt you are rude, blunt and from my knowledge not qualified to say if what my treating team is doing for me or any other deppie is right or wrong. I trust my team because they have been with me for so long and got things working well and I know they are right for me, though I am scared about the upcoming hospital admission as they are going to change my a/d and they will do that over 10 days because I am in hospital. I like the one I am on but my psychiatrist has seen good results with this one in curbing appetite and that is an issue for me.

Will update if I need to today/tonight.

Take Care All!!!

Mrs Studying1

PS Thanks Lesley and Motherof2 and Bun for your inspiring diary replies. Between you three I have decided to stop justifying myself and let my diary continue to tell my journey with myself, treating team and hubby. Seems I have had to justify myself since I started work and I need to work on this with the psychiatrist and psychologist. Seeing psychologist on Thursday so I will make mention to her about it.

Hubby has gone to work again. I finally got some sleep as did hubby. He was getting ready for work when the real estate lady turned up with two potential buyers who had a look through the place.

I am doing some washing of sheets/woollen underlay - not fun at all but it has to be done. Hubby was lucky he left when he did as I would have him out hanging the washing and not me as I have to go outside and that scares me, but I will get there and have a look at the plants while I am outside.

What help was offered???? None. It was all criticism by someone who thinks they know about me but knows sweet shite about me.

Poor people who can't have their coffee or telling people not to start arguements/posting wars. Pity them. They don't have to read the diary entry and replies and if you don't like what you read, don't write derogatory remarks in others diaries.

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Comments from the community:




Studying.......


Hun for goodness sake stop it. Life and depression are hard enough without having to explain yourself to others. be like i am Hun and dont give a rats arse what they think. Let them rant on and say what they like. You are a far better woman than them, so let the clowns go.
Just worry about you and the husband and let the rest flow by. you dont need to add to your load by taking onboard this crap. Id get the cough seen to, especially if its been off and on like this.

GO STUDYING..............
Love Lesley xxxxx

Written by lesleyk, 28. Jun 2008 07:31 AM

studying1,

I wrote this in Lozza's diary and you may/may not get some help from this comment:-



I no longer defend myself or justify myself to anyone. I am me, and I am comfortable in knowing who that is and I could not care less what others think. We spend so much time in life trying to justify ourselves when all it does is make people talk more and put us down more as they know that it gets to us. If it did not bother us, then we would not have to justify ourselves, hence they would have no reason to carry on as there would be no reaction.

It took me many years to realise this and now, no one even bothers me. If they say something to get a bite, well tough luck you have to go fishing for that!!!!

As long as you are confident in who you are and what you stand for, then let them carry on, just let them go and do not respond. All they are doing is trying to get a reaction from you, to then keep up the banter on you and bring you to an unhappy place.



Hope you find the inner strength that you have and believe in yourself as I believe in you.

Written by Mumof2, 28. Jun 2008 07:35 AM

I know you said your doc says you can't work, but have you actually gone out there and tried? I was given a certain amount of time off by the GP and psych doc but I still went out and got a job, casual at first then gradually increasing the hours. It is still hard for me but I keep doing it not only because I have to but I don't want to live my life under a doona. I helped myself, maybe you could try to, regardless of what the psych says. If he told you to jump off a cliff, would you?

Written by Maya, 29. Jun 2008 03:18 AM

Just a thought...maybe you could try some volunteer work or charity work? Places like Lifeline, Footprints and St Vinnies always need helpers...or some sort of community service?

Written by Maya, 29. Jun 2008 03:32 AM