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Written by babz 13. Mar 2008 08:51 PM

Really going downhill. I had to leave DBT today because I was in so much physical pain that I couldn't stand to sit in the chair any longer. Physical pain is my Achilles heel - it makes me emotional and out of control. Drove home with every bump in the road making me want to scream, took some heavy duty painkillers and then got sick as hell.

I couldn't stand up, I wanted to vomit and I felt so faint, so I went and had a nap. Against my better judgement forced myself to skating. Had a slow start as I was tired, sore and feeling very sick, but I picked up halfway through my lesson. Landed some good jumps and got some good spins too, footwork was a little hard as my knee is really sore and my back is rather screwed so I didn't have much control.

Had a few falls, but not too bad, until the last 5 minutes of the session when I fell out of a spin. Not sure what happened, one minute I was in a great position, next I was sprawled on the ice staring at the ceiling in a ridiculous amount of pain. Came home again with every bump in the road making me want to scream and took more painkillers - I hope that I'm not accidentally overdosing myself, I have been relying on them very heavily the last few days. Think I might take myself off to the GP tomorrow to make sure all is ok - this much pain is not normal.

Thankfully I have nothing on tomorrow until skating in the late afternoon. I have to force myself to do some study, it is only week 2 and I am already behind. I have to do well this semester, so much is at stake. In all likelihood I'll probably spend most of the day in bed, I really can't be bothered with life at the moment.

I'm sorry I've been slack with reading diaries, I will try and catch up over the weekend. Love to you all

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Comments from the community:

Sweetheart, its sound to me your not looking after yourself. Your body can only take so much before you will do more permanent damage. Slow down hun. Reading your post I can almost feel your pain. Please take special care of yourself, there is only one of you and you are to special and beautiful to loss.

Love, care and support always
Amanda xxxxx

Written by Deleted_User, 13. Mar 2008 09:01 PM

Babz

You did well to get through the dbt session in the pain. I don't know how you can skate in the pain. Sorry about the fall. Hope you didn't do any major damage.

Go Babz!!!

Studying1

PS Did you see your psychologist today at the dbt session?

Written by studying1, 14. Mar 2008 12:15 AM

love,

you have to take a break from skating. i know you love it - and i am glad you have something you can look forward to. but let your body rest. there is no point doing more than you can. you need your rest so you can perform in uni and concentrate on studies.

i know about wanting to sleep in bed. but hun, think about this. would sleeping help you in the long run? lol. funy coming from me huh?

you take care love

wd

Written by WhiteDove, 14. Mar 2008 12:12 PM

love,

you have to take a break from skating. i know you love it - and i am glad you have something you can look forward to. but let your body rest. there is no point doing more than you can. you need your rest so you can perform in uni and concentrate on studies.

i know about wanting to sleep in bed. but hun, think about this. would sleeping help you in the long run? lol. funy coming from me huh?

you take care love

wd

Written by WhiteDove, 14. Mar 2008 12:12 PM