Making some progress finally
A page in the diary "A Day in the Life Of..."
Written by babz 7. Mar 2008 07:36 PM
Uni last week actually went well - I've made my first ever uni friends! That's kind of sad given this is my third year at uni, but hey, better late than never right? I never really saw the point in making friends because I was only part time so they would all move on after the year and I'd be with a new group, but opportunity reared it's head and I'm glad I made an effort.
I was very upset about my job (or sudden lack thereof) for most of Wednesday, but then I realised that I am not going to let a set back ruin everything I've worked for. I got out the local paper, set up my seek job mail again and started applying for more jobs. I have a job interview tomorrow.
I decided that despite the job issue that I won't stop skating, because I need something that I do just for me that makes me happy and calm. I thankfully got a long overdue cheque today, so I have enough money to tide me over until I get a job. This means I don't have to stop payments to my sponsored child either.
I love skating again - I used my DBT skills very effectively which I am proud of. I have two new coaches (one for synchro and one for solo), packed up all the stuff from my old club/team and let go of all the vengeance/anger that I held towards the people that screwed me over. Now that I have let go of/moved on from the past, the people at the new club seem to be much more open to me, and so I enjoy my time at the rink, not just the skating part.
The ultimate test of my new found attitude was yesterday when four of my biggest fans (note the sarcasm) were at the rink - my ex coach, ex team manager, ex captain and ex teammate's Mum. I still don't particularly like seeing them, but I was able to not become upset/distressed/worked up by their presence or their childish, bitchy and outright rude behaviour.
I am proud of myself:
1) for not acting on impulse to self harm and overdose after the job disappointment,
2) for making friends at uni,
3) for applying my DBT skills so effectively at skating,
4) for not giving up in my job hunt, and
5) for allowing myself to see that I deserve something that makes me happy.
I still have a long way to go, but the longest journey starts with a single step.