Back home from hospital
A page in the diary "A Day in the Life Of..."
Written by babz 23. Jan 2008 11:06 AM
Well, three weeks of hospital and I have once again been unleashed on the poor unsuspecting world - hehe.
I've only been home a bit under an hour but I feel OK. Exhausted, but OK. There were lots of hugs, kisses and tears shed as I said my goodbyes, I feel very blessed to have made friends with some of the people I did. I think that it was these people and the nurses - not the pills and doctors - that have made me OK with who I am and where I am in my life.
I remember I was telling one of the nurses about how this 'isn't who I'm supposed to be' and she told me that it was part of my journey. This annoyed me, I thought she was being a cop out by saying that bad things can happen just because they're meant to, but now I think she's right. The people I met were all wonderful, kind souls but all fighting their own demons like I am. They were people that don't deserve this heartache, but I have learnt so much from them and they apparently learnt so much from me - maybe it is part of my journey.
I rediscovered myself in hospital, I got in touch with the me that I shoved out a long time ago because she wasn't who I 'should' be. The one who loved art and would get lost in her own world of colour and texture, the one who let herself cry when she needed to cry, the one who knew that reaching out for help was a sign of strength and not of weakness, the person that knew she wasn't perfect but loved herself anyway. I don't really recognise her, and she still gets shoved to the side, but she is getting stronger and so far I like her a hell of a lot more than the person that replaced her. I do realise I sound like a hippie on pot, but I'm in a very contemplative mood at the moment.